Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Communication
(Page 5)
A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
W.C. Fields
(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Communication
Reading/Writing
Comedians
In school I wanted to join the debating team… but someone talked me out of it.
Stewart Francis
Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication
Speech
Debating
The effectiveness of a telephone conversation is in inverse proportion to the time spent on it.
Parkinson's Law of the Telephone
Communication
Conversation
Murphy’s Laws
Time
Telephone
I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church.
Robin Williams
(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication
Language
Sports
Lacrosse
Bill wrote a book at Yale; I read one.
George W. Bush
(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Books
Communication
Reading/Writing
Bill Clinton
Arrivaducci, von boyage.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Communication
Language
Malaprops
Arrivederci
Bon voyage
When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste; when I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
Jimmy Carr
(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication
Wordplay
Michael Bolton
Taste
I’ve got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello, goodbye, and I’m pregnant.
Dean Martin
(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Children
Communication
Family
Speech
Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy.
Bill Cosby
(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication
Men
People
Science/Weather
Women
Species
Verbs has to agree with their subject.
The 19 Rules for Good Riting - 3
Communication
Language
Murphy’s Laws
Reading/Writing
Absurdity: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Language
Opinion
Absurdity
My one claim to originality among Irishmen is that I never made a speech.
George Moore
(1852 – 1933) Irish writer, poet, art critic & dramatist
Communication
Places
Speech
Ireland
I think one of the most groundbreaking inventions of all time is the jackhammer.
Demetri Martin
(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication
Language
Things
Jackhammers
Sex Education: Sermon on the mount.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sex
Wordplay
Sex education
Craig Bellamy has literally been on fire.
Ally McCoist
Scottish football player & manager
Communication
Language
Misspokements
Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.
The 19 Rules for Good Riting - 13
Communication
Language
Murphy’s Laws
Reading/Writing
A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded.
Tyne Daly
(1946 – ) American stage & screen actress
Beliefs
Communication
Occupations
Work
Criticism
Critics
Memos to Shitty People
James Alexander
Book Titles
Communication
Memos
One “Oh shit” can erase a thousand “Attaboys.”
Scott Adams
(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Characteristics
Communication
Praise
Never characterize the importance of a statement in advance.
(Charles) Ross's Law
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Speech
Nothing conduces to brevity like a caving in of the knees.
Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
(1809 – 1894) physician, professor, lecturer & author
Communication
Reading/Writing
Brevity
On why he wrote opinions while standing
Page 5 of 86
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