Subject: Communication » Wordplay

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Health Wordplay

What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian
Government Places Wordplay

I think if you were hardcore anti-feminism, surely you wouldn’t call yourself ‘anti-feminism’ would you? … you’d call yourself ‘Uncle Feminism’.

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today… unfortunately, it’s only for victims.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

“Pickup artists” and “garbagemen” should switch names.

Occupations Wordplay Work

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as ‘4’s’?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

History is the short trudge from Adam to atom.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
History Time Wordplay

I was filling out a questionnaire that said, “Who would you most like to sleep with – anyone living or dead?” I said “Anyone living.”

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Sex Situations Wordplay

Obesity is really widespread.

Appearance Fat Wordplay

Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.

comedian
Health Wordplay

Accordionated: Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Definitions Wordplay

Yawn: It’s always dullest just before the yawn.

Definitions Wordplay

Through no fault of his own my uncle crashed his car into a lemon tree; he is still bitter and twisted.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

Heckler: A guy who ribs you the wrong way.

Definitions Wordplay

He makes his living from ham to mouth.

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator
Communication Reading/Writing Wordplay

Oscar night at my house is called Passover.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Communication Wordplay

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Things Wordplay

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Entertainment Television Wordplay

Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.

Definitions Health Wordplay