Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 4)

When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste; when I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

A chrysanthemum by any other name would be easier to spell.

author

Nothing risqué nothing gained!

(1933 – 1967) American actress, entertainer & Hollywood sex symbol

The Houston Astros play in a vast indoor stadium known as the Astrodome, but the problem is they field a half-vast team.

American baseball player

Antibody: Against everyone.

Yes, so it does.

(1869 – 1931) American politician

If pro is the opposite of con, what's the opposite of progress?

(1918 – 2009) radio broadcaster

Do they give pilots crash courses in flight school?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Apex: A gorilla’s old girlfriend.

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today… unfortunately, it’s only for victims.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian

If you don't know what introspection is… you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.

(1988 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor

Thinly sliced cabbage.

At the all-you-can-eat barbecue, you have to pay the regular dinner price if you eat less than you can.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.

comedian

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

He makes his living from ham to mouth.

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator

I went to [a bookstore] and asked the woman for a book about turtles; she said ‘hardback?’ and I was like, ‘yeah, and little heads.

British comedian

Take my wife… please!

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

Just seen the grave of the woman from My Fair Lady… it says ‘Here lies a Doolittle’.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian