Subject: Conflict

Men love war because it allows them to look serious… it is the one thing that stops women laughing at them.

(1926 – 2005) English novelist & essayist
Conflict Emotions Laughter Men People War Women

I haven’t heard the president state that we’re at war… that’s why I too am not knowing… do we use the term intervention?… do we use war?… do we use squirmish?… what is it?

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Conflict Misspokements

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time… most unsolved.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Conflict New York City Places

Crime does not pay… as well as politics.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Government Politics

Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Money

America never lost a war or won a peace conference.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
America Conflict Places War

Here's how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the ‘30s – as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Conflict Crime

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate; and I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.

Conflict War

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me; I said, “Well, what do you need?”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Arms Canada Places Things

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict Friends Killing People Young

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Characteristics Conflict Government Politics

Give him an inch and he'll screw you.

Conflict Murphy’s Laws

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Arms People Things

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Arms Situations Things

Criminal: A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.

(1890 – 1970) American engineer
Conflict Crime

As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Conflict Military War

In New York every rainbow has an empty pot of gold at the end with a chalk outline of a dead leprechaun.

American radio and television personality, comedian & speaker
Crime New York City Places

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Conflict Places

The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Communication Conflict War

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Conflict

To avoid robbery, certainly rock the rocker room and keep the rocker key with you all the time. Also, we will not take any responsibility for the robbery.

Crime Signs Translations