Subject: Conflict » Crime

The perferator of the crime was apprehended by the police.

One of my friends went on a murder weekend… now he is doing life for it.

(1961 – ) English standup comedian, actor & writer

He has committed every crime that does not require courage.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

If crime went down 100%, it would still be fifty times higher than it should be.

American politician

These days, the problem with many neighborhoods is that there're more hoods than neighbors!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and selling your story to T.V.!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns.

(1921 – 1999) American writer (The Godfather)

Shoplifter: A person with a gift of grab.

Shoplifter Who Soiled Clothes Fails to Wipe Record Clean

Murder is a crime – describing murder is not; sex is not a crime – describing sex is.

(1917 – 1999) American sexologist

When I see the Ten Most Wanted lists, I always have this thought: If we'd made them feel wanted earlier, they wouldn't be wanted now.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter

Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the ‘30s… as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% change of getting away with it.

American comedian & writer

My luck is getting worse and worse.. last night, for instance, I was mugged by a Quaker.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

To avoid robbery, certainly rock the rocker room and keep the rocker key with you all the time. Also, we will not take any responsibility for the robbery.

As through this world I've wandered I've seen lots of funny men; some will rob you with a six-gun, and some with a fountain pen.

(1912 – 1967) American singer-songwriter & folk musician

Two mothers-in-law.

(1832 – 1900) Irish statesman

Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Scooter Libby was found guilty of perjury, obstruction, and making false statements… or, as the White House calls it, a press conference.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

Looting: A public shopping spree generously sponsored by local merchants in the wake of a riot.

Woman Charged With Stealing Underwear, Cheese

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
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