Subject: Conflict » Crime

Prisoner serving 2,000-year sentence could face more time

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and selling your story to T.V.!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Capital Punishment: Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.

There was a break-in at the Open Door Baptist Church last week. Burglars entered through a rear window.

To avoid robbery, certainly rock the rocker room and keep the rocker key with you all the time. Also, we will not take any responsibility for the robbery.

It's the only place in the world where you walk in and the first thing you do is steal everything before you take your coat off.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer

He has committed every crime that does not require courage.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards because the thief spends less than she does.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and then selling your story to TV.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they only print your thumbs.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night… and reduce the crime rate.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Thieves respect property; they merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist

She changes prices. I caught her in a near misdemeanus.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Shoplifter: A person with a gift of grab.

As through this world I've wandered I've seen lots of funny men; some will rob you with a six-gun, and some with a fountain pen.

(1912 – 1967) American singer-songwriter & folk musician

Scooter Libby was found guilty of perjury, obstruction, and making false statements… or, as the White House calls it, a press conference.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

Woman Charged With Stealing Underwear, Cheese

Two mothers-in-law.

(1832 – 1900) Irish statesman

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Kleptomaniac: A person who helps himself because he can't help himself.

(1915 – 1994) American actor

I saved a girl from being attacked last night… I controlled myself.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
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