Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Conflict
(Page 12)
In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn’t have any, they gave you some.
Emo Phillips
(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms
Conflict
Education
School
War without France would be like… World War II.
Anonymous
Conflict
Places
War
France
The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
Perkin's Postulate
Fights
Murphy’s Laws
Size
Strength
The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
Murphy's 11th Military Law
Military
Murphy’s Laws
War
I do have some sad news to report: Bjork could not be here; she was trying on her Oscars dress and Dick Cheney shot her.
Jon Stewart
(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Conflict
at the Academy Awards
Dick Cheney
Shooting
Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
A Murphy's Military Law
Arms
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Mines
Claim victory and retreat.
Aiken's Solution
Conflict
Murphy’s Laws
War
Victory
Black folk ain't going to kill over and over and over again; that's too much like work; that's a career.
Sheryl Underwood
(1963 – ) American comedian
Conflict
Killing
Blacks
Serial killers
In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students… there were no survivors.
Tina Fey
(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Arms
Conflict
Guns
NRA
The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.
Joe Bob Briggs
(John Bloom) (1953 – ) American film critic, writer & actor
Conflict
Family
Fights
Grandmothers
Street fights
I want you guys to know that if we ever get into real heavy combat… I'll be right behind you guys. Every step of the way.
Harold Ramis
(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer
TV/Movie Quotes
War
As Russell Ziskey in “Stripes”
He has committed every crime that does not require courage.
Benjamin Disraeli
(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics
Crime
Insults
About Irish politician Daniel O'Connell
Courage
You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs.
Stalin's Law
Conflict
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Dick Cheney says he loves California… out here the rich and famous can shoot people and get away with it.
Jay Leno
(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms
Conflict
People
Places
California
Dick Cheney
The world is a place that’s gone from being flat to round to crooked.
Alfred E. Neuman
fictional mascot and cover boy of
Mad
, an American humor magazine
Crime
Honesty
Places
World
Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't.
A Murphy's Military Law
Arms
Government
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Swords
No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
American proverb
Conflict
Housework
Husbands
Marriage
Proverbs
Shot
God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best.
Voltaire
(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Conflict
God
War
The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel; this is essentially the basis of all military thinking.
Terry Pratchett
(1948 – ) English novelist
Conflict
Government
Military
War
If it weren’t for marriage, husband and wives would have to fight with strangers.
Charles 'Chic' Murray
(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Conflict
Fights
Marriage
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W.C. Fields
(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol
Conflict
Food/Drink
Killing
Page 12 of 17
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