Subject: Conflict (Page 12)

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn’t have any, they gave you some.

(1956 – ) American comedian

War without France would be like… World War II.

The bigger they are, the harder they hit.

The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.

I do have some sad news to report: Bjork could not be here; she was trying on her Oscars dress and Dick Cheney shot her.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

Claim victory and retreat.

Black folk ain't going to kill over and over and over again; that's too much like work; that's a career.

(1963 – ) American comedian

In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students… there were no survivors.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.

(John Bloom) (1953 – ) American film critic, writer & actor

I want you guys to know that if we ever get into real heavy combat… I'll be right behind you guys. Every step of the way.

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer

He has committed every crime that does not require courage.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs.

Dick Cheney says he loves California… out here the rich and famous can shoot people and get away with it.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

The world is a place that’s gone from being flat to round to crooked.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't.

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel; this is essentially the basis of all military thinking.

(1948 – ) English novelist

If it weren’t for marriage, husband and wives would have to fight with strangers.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer