Subject: Conflict (Page 2)

You can fight and all of you will die, or you can surrender in which case only most of you will die.

(1967 – ) English actor

If I play badly I’ll pick a fight in the third, just to get into a fight. I’ll break a guy’s leg to win, I don’t care. Afterward I say, ‘Yeah, all right I played badly, but I won the fight so who gives a damn.'

Canadian hockey player

I've been temping at the job that laid me off, and that's awkward because everybody knows I got canned, and they think I've come back to shoot them.

stand-up comedian & writer

Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the ‘30s… as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% change of getting away with it.

American comedian & writer

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist

I do have some sad news to report: Bjork could not be here; she was trying on her Oscars dress and Dick Cheney shot her.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright

These days, the problem with many neighborhoods is that there're more hoods than neighbors!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

He scored hockey by the number of fights. If you lost seven to one, but won five fights, he figured you won the game.

Canadian businessman, sportsman & owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

The streets are safe in Philadelphia – it’s only the people who make them unsafe.

(1920 – 1991) American police officer & mayor of Philadelphia

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!

It's hard to fight when you're in a gazebo.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.

As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense

A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Never raise your hand to your children it leaves your midsection unprotected.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer

A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist

Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.

The Hunger Site