Subject: Conflict (Page 3)

True friends stab you in the front.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Conflict Friends Old People

You can fight and all of you will die, or you can surrender in which case only most of you will die.

(1967 – ) English actor
Fights TV/Movie Quotes

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

America Arms Conflict People Places

The world is a place that’s gone from being flat to round to crooked.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Crime Honesty Places World

All five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.

(John Bloom) (1953 – ) American film critic, writer & actor
Conflict Family Fights

You break into my house… my wife will shoot you, and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Arms Speech Things

Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Characteristics Men People War

Recoilless rifles – aren’t.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Individuals Killing People

On the downside, it's loaded with sexual predators; on the plus side, it's also loaded with sexual prey.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Crime Science/Weather Sex

Men love war because it allows them to look serious… it is the one thing that stops women laughing at them.

(1926 – 2005) English novelist & essayist
Conflict Emotions Laughter Men People War Women

Army recruiter: Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor? That’s robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing.

Ziskey: Never convicted.

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer
Crime TV/Movie Quotes

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate; and I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.

Conflict War

You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs.

Conflict Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Never go to bed mad… stay up and fight.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Activities Conflict Fights Marriage Sleep

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Conflict Situations War

You’ll get my assault weapon when you pry it out of my curious six-year-old’s cold dead hands.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Arms Conflict Things

If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.

(1962 – ) comedian, actor, voice actor, screenwriter, & film & television director
Conflict Fights Situations

At the end of the Peterson trial, my daughter turns to me and she goes, 'Daddy, are you going to kill Mommy?'… 'Oh, honey – that's up to Mommy, isn't it?'

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Conflict Killing Marriage Wives

Pickpocket: A man who believes that every crowd has a silver lining.

Crime Definitions