Subject: Conflict (Page 4)

Probably the toughest time in anyone’s life is when you have to murder a loved one because they’re the devil.

(1956 – ) American comedian

I’m not a fighter; I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I once asked a policeman how far it was to the subway and he said, “I don’t know, no one has ever made it.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

America never lost a war or won a peace conference.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

Buying my wife a gun is sort of like me saying, 'You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise.'

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian

When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

I really wish ISIS would stop playing violent video games and listening to Marilyn Manson.

European comedian & actor

Kill: To create a vacancy without nominating a successor.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

At their core, women fear that men will kill them; at their core, men fear that women will laugh at them.

(1954 – ) security specialist, advisor & author

My luck is getting worse and worse.. last night, for instance, I was mugged by a Quaker.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I do have some sad news to report: Bjork could not be here; she was trying on her Oscars dress and Dick Cheney shot her.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

All I know is, finally I get to kill somebody.

American actor

'Bush and Son: Leading America to War Since 1990.'

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer

Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

We know how much fans enjoy a good brawl, so we are going to guarantee a fight. If there is not a single five-minute fighting major given to a player, every fan in attendance will receive a free ticket to the following home game.

If it is worth fighting for, it is worth fighting dirty for.

It's possible to disagree with someone about the ethics of non-violence without wanting to kick his face in.

(1946 – ) British playwright, screen writer & film director

Those who hammer their guns into ploughs will plough for those who do not.

(1743 – 1826) American Founding Father & 3rd U.S. president

How is it possible to have a civil war?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author