Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… find blind man on nude beach… not hard.

Confucius say… to circumcise whale, send down four skin divers.

Confucius say… alarm clock is something that makes people rise and whine.

Confucius say… if man doesn't try different sex with one women, he shall try one sex with different women.

Confucius say… chicken is result of a sitting hen, while a baby is the result of standing cock.

Confucius say… he who stick head in oven get baked bean.

Confucius say… butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.

Confucius say… who slings mud, loses ground.

Confucius say… man who put pea in soup very unclean.

Confucius say… marriage is like a bank account – you put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

Confucius say… man who put cream in tart, not always baker.

Confucius say… condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Confucius say… man under wheelbarrow playing with tool, not necessarily mechanic.

Confucius say… she who douches with vinegar, walk around with sour puss.

Confucius say… he who plays with self, pulls boner.

Confucius say… man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out.

Confucius say… man who has money to burn, makes an ash of himself.

Confucius say… duck that fly upside down quack up.

Confucius say… he who has a sharp tongue cuts own throat.

Confucius say… Einstein stared at his cousin's boobs, he discovered 'Theory of Relative Titty'.

Confucius say… lovers in triangle not on square.

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