Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.

Confucius say… he who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.

Confucius say… if your girlfriend starts smoking… you’re going too fast.

Confucius say… man who is basketball player dribbles before he shoots.

Confucius say… man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.

Confucius say… man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.

Confucius say… getting sick at the airport, could be a terminal illness.

Confucius say… cheap prostitute offer more bang for your buck.

Confucius say… deaf people have phone sex by fax.

Confucius say… virginity like balloon… one prick – all gone.

Confucius say… take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

Confucius say… birds of a feather flock together… then crap on your car.

Confucius say… man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.

Confucius say… who slings mud, loses ground.

Confucius say… friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.

Confucius say… he who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!

Confucius say… at a nudist wedding, you don't have to ask – you can see who the best man is.

Confucius say… man who do business in whore house, get jerked around

Confucius say… passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.

Confucius say… humorous question on an exam is called testicle.

Confucius say… young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.