Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… inventor of shag carpet made a big pile.

Confucius say… award winning dentist will be given a little plaque.

Confucius say… egghead is what Mrs. Dumpty gives Humpty.

Confucius say… sex on beach is like American beer… very near water.

Confucius say… he who hesitates is probably right.

Confucius say… never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.

Confucius say… man who get hit by car, get that run down feeling.

Confucius say… foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Confucius say… sumo wrestling is survival of the fattest.

Confucius say… Humpty Dumpty had a great fall… after a mediocre summer.

Confucius say… he who has a sharp tongue cuts own throat.

Confucius say… husbands are like fires… they go out when left unattended.

Confucius say… short man who dance with tall woman get bust in mouth.

Confucius say… he who eat cookies in bed will wake up feeling crumby.

Confucius say… he who eats crackers in bed, get crummy sleep.

Confucius say… balloon factory will go out of business if it can't keep up with inflation.

Confucius say… man who wish to make headlines should sleep on corduroy pillow.

Confucius say… man who abuse computer get bad bytes.

Confucius say… supermarket is where you spend 30 minutes hunting for instant coffee.

Confucius say… 400 pound lady, who likes both men and women, is a bisexual built for two.

Confucius say… you see the handwriting on the wall, you're in a public restroom.

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