Subject: Death

I’ll be in Hell before you start breakfast! Let her rip!

(1863 – 1901) American cowboy & train robber

This is absurd! This is absurd!

(1856 – 1939) Austrian neurologist, father of psychoanalysis

Is it safe?

(1824-1856) doctor & convicted multiple murderer

I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

The news of any politician’s death should be listed under ”Public Improvements.”

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

The way I see life, is like we’re all flying on the Hindenburg… why fight over the window seats?

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor

Home to the palace to die.

(1818 – 1881) Emperor of the Russian Empire

When I hear that a man is religious, I conclude he is a rascal!

(1711 – 1776) Scottish philosopher, historian, economist & essayist

No, but comfortable enough to die.

(1717 – 1780) Empress of Austria & Hungary

If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress

I thought it was in terribly bad taste for him to die when he did.

(1942 – ) English comic, actor (Monty Python's Flying Circus)

Ah, well… we live and learn, or, anyway, we live.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic

Waiting, are they? Waiting, are they? Well, let 'em wait!

(1738 – 1789) American farmer, businessman, writer, politician & patriot

I am going.

(1899 – 1982) King of Swaziland

'Hey Death – is that a sickle in your hand or are you just glad to see me?'

American comedian

Secretary: Someday you'll drown in a vat of whiskey.

Field’s reply as an aside: Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other – so now it’s just a waiting game.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian & game show host

In the city, a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician

Ah well I suppose it has come to this… such is life.

(c.1855 – 1880) Irish Australian bushranger & outlaw

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