Subject: Death

I'd just like to say I'm sailing with the Rock and I'll be back like Independence Day with Jesus, June 6, like the movie, big mothership and all. I'll be back.

(1956 – 2002) American serial killer

When he is late for dinner and I know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the street, I always hope he's dead.

(1931 – ) American author & newspaper journalist

He can be lethal death.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

Secretary: Someday you'll drown in a vat of whiskey.

Field’s reply as an aside: Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Take me home. I was born in the South and I wish to die and be buried in the South.

(1856 – 1915) African-American educator, author & political leader

The prettier. Now fight for it.

(1851 – 1929) English dramatist & playwright

When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch; my grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Well, if it must be so.

(1843 – 1907) Norwegian composer & pianist

I ain’t afraid to die fat… that’s my pallbearers’ worry.


I'm going away tonight.

(1933 – 2006) American singer, songwriter & musician

Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck.

(1906 – 1972) Russian-born English actor, singer-songwriter & music composer

To stop sinning suddenly.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

Truman Capote's death was a good career move.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress

I shall look forward to a pleasant time.

(1737 – 1793) American merchant, statesman & patriot of the Revolution

George W. [Bush] was born on third, but thinks he hit a triple.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize,’ … except at a funeral.

(1973 – ) American comedian

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other – so now it’s just a waiting game.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian & game show host

I'm tired. I'm going back to bed.

(1914 – 1959) American actor best known for his role as Superman

Ah, well… we live and learn, or, anyway, we live.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic
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