Death | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Death (Page 2)

In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.

George Ade

(1866 – 1944) American writer, newspaper columnist, playwright & humorist

I intend to live forever… or die trying.

Groucho Marx

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Death Life

A bird in the hand is dead.

Boozer's Revision

Animals Death Murphy’s Laws Birds

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

George Carlin

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Death Bathrooms Dinner parties

When I hear that a man is religious, I conclude he is a rascal!

David Hume

(1711 – 1776) Scottish philosopher, historian, economist & essayist

Last words

I want to die like my father, quietly, in his sleep – not screaming and terrified like his passengers.

Bob Monkhouse

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer

Death

Die… I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.

John Barrymore

(1882 – 1942) American actor

Last words Barrymore collapsed while appearing on Rudy Vallee's radio show and died in his hospital room.

I'd rather be fishing.

Jimmy Glass

(c.1962 – 1987) American convicted murderer

Last words Before his execution in a Louisiana electric chair

Do you realize we’re only a heart attack away from Bush being president?

Robin Williams

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

Death Government President Dick Cheney George W. Bush Heart attacks

No Comment

Edward Abbey

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist

Last words His response as to whether he had any last words

Capital Punishment: Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.

Anonymous

Crime Death Definitions Killing Capital punishment

Vancouver! Vancouver! This is it! This is…

David Alexander Johnston

(1949 – 1980) American volcanologist & government surveyor

Last words Last radio transmission before being killed in the 1980 eruption of Mount St. Helens

Gents, this is an educational project. You are about to witness the damaging effect electricity has on Wood.

Frederick Charles Wood

(? – 1963) convicted murderer

Last words Before his electrocution

Everybody has to die, but I always believed an exception would be made in my case.

William Saroyan

(1908 – 1981) American dramatist & author

Death

My vocabulary did this to me. Your love will let you go on…

Jack Spicer

(1925 - 1965) American poet

Last words Spoken to fellow poet Robin Blaser in a near-coma brought on by Spicer's alcoholism.

Who is it? Who is it?

Billy the Kid (William H. Bonney)

(1859 – 1881) American frontier gunman

Last words Moments before being shot by Sheriff Pat Garrett

I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's the record.

Dylan Thomas

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer

Last words Died while in a coma from pneumonia and alcohol poisoning

Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer.; but imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.

Emo Phillips

(1956 – ) American comedian

Death People Capital punishment Imprisonment

Born in a hotel room, and Goddammit, died in one!

Eugene O’Neill

(1888 – 1953) American playwright