Subject: Death (Page 4)

It's stopped.

(1791 – 1863) English surgeon & literary executor of Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Last words

Relax… this won't hurt.

(1937 – 2005) journalist & author
Last words

My friend died doing what he loved… heroin.

Canadian-American comedian, writer & columnist
Activities Death Drugs

When you have told anyone you have left him a legacy the only decent thing to do is to die at once.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Death

Die, my dear? Why, that's the last thing I'll do!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Last words

I'm so bored with it all.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Last words

This is the first time authorities helped me escape prison.

(c.1914 – 1947) American convicted murderer
Last words

Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished.

(1770 – 1827) German composer & pianist
Last words

Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who has already left.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Death

Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.

(? – 1928) mob boss
Last words

Death is nature’s way of saying “Howdy.”

Death

Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck.

(1906 – 1972) Russian-born English actor, singer-songwriter & music composer
Last words

My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, "How about Tuesday?"

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Death Marriage Wives

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Death Husbands Mothers

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Communication Death

My dear, before you kiss me good-bye, fix your hair. It's a mess.

(1887 – 1974) American playwright, screenwriter, director & actor
Last words

More weight.

(c.1611 – 1692) a prosperous farmer and church member in early colonial America who died under judicial torture during the Salem witch trials
Last words

The operation was a complete success, but the patient died of something else.

Death Doctors Health

Will: A dead giveaway.

Death Definitions

Don’t think of it as dying; just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Death

No thank you.

(1959 – 2005) American serial killer
Last words