Subject: Definitions

Definitions:

Humorous definitions, often through the use of puns or wordplay

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Bargain Hunter: One who is often led astray by false profits.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Peeping Tom: A window fan.

Definitions Wordplay

Birthday: Anniversary of one’s birth, observed only by men and children.

Age Definitions

Smile: To expose a portion of one’s skeleton as a gesture of goodwill toward a fellow human.

Definitions

Lawyer: One skilled in circumvention of the law.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Law

Abort: To correct a misconception.

Definitions

Y-chromosome: A line of genes designed for men only; the cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Men

Tabloid: A screamlined newspaper.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Hat: Something the average man covers his head with, the beggar passes around, the statesman throws into the ring, and the politician talks through.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Fishing: A delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

Activities Definitions

Critic: One quick-on-the-flaw.

Definitions Occupations

Tact: The ability to describe others as they see themselves.

Communication Definitions

Ascribe: Newspaper reporter.

Definitions

Expert: Any person who has tried and failed – and can tell you why.

Definitions

Phillips Screwdriver: Used  to round off Phillips screw heads.

Definitions Things

Great Timesaver: Love at first sight.

Definitions

Osteopath: A man who works his fingers to your bones.

Definitions Doctors

Apology: Politeness too late.

Definitions

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Definitions Money

Looting: A public shopping spree generously sponsored by local merchants in the wake of a riot.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Crime Definitions

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.

Definitions Money