Subject: Definitions


Humorous definitions, often through the use of puns or wordplay

Discussion: A method of confirming others in their errors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Bowling: Marbles for grown-ups.

Education: One of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Nepotism: Putting on heirs.

Alimony: Bounty after the mutiny.


Honeymoon: The morning after the knot before.

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

(1895 – 1979) American archbishop of the Catholic Church

Easy: Used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

Great Timesaver: Love at first sight.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Bad Driver: The person you run into.

Twice: Once too often.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Epigram: A wisecrack that played Carnegie Hall.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

Selfishness: A state of mine.

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Yodeling: Slope opera.

Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

Donuts: The only non-negotiable element to a successful meeting.

Handkerchief: Cold Storage.

Hook: Irritating but highly reliable device used to quickly locate the position of one’s thumb at the bottom of a tackle box.

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