Subject: Definitions (Page 2)

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Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.

(1870-1943) German-American politician, socialist & writer
Definitions Government Politics

Insider trading: Stealing too fast.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Conflict Crime Definitions

Vegetable: A substance used to ballast a child’s plate while it’s carried to and from the table.

Definitions Food/Drink

Democracy: A small hard core of common agreement, surrounded by a rich variety of individual difference.

Definitions Democracy Government

Hallucination: A belief owned exclusively by one person.

Definitions

Optometrist: A person you have to see.

Definitions Doctors

Lawyer: A fellow who is willing to go out and spend your last cent to prove he’s right.

Definitions Lawyers

Asylum: A refuge where unusual people are protected from the world.

Definitions

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Technology: The knack of so arranging the world that we need not experience it.

(1911 – 1991) Swiss playwright & novelist
Definitions Science/Weather

Life: A sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality rate.

Definitions Life

Cuddling: An act of warmth and affection that a husband will inevitably interpret as foreplay.

Definitions

Bureaucracy: A system that enables ten men to do the work of one.

Definitions Government

Originality: Undetected plagiarism.

Definitions

Pessimist: A person who looks at a doughnut and sees nothing but the hole.

Definitions

Selfishness: A state of mine.

Definitions

Adage: To become older.

Definitions

Egotist: A conceited ass who thinks he knows as much as you do.

Definitions Intelligence People Self

Bore: A person who takes his time taking your time.

Definitions

Suntan: A pigment of your imagination.

Definitions

Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.

Definitions Health Wordplay