Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Definitions
(Page 3)
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Bus: A vehicle that has empty seats when going in the opposite direction.
Anonymous
Definitions
Bus
Transportation
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Government
Language
Law
Litigation
Sausage
Union: A dues-paying club workers wield to strike management.
Anonymous
Definitions
Work
Union
Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
Money
Chance
Insurance
Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.
Rick Bayan
(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions
Men
Urinal
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
Doctors
Health
Patient
Prescription
Cold: An ailment cured in two weeks with a doctor’s care, and in fourteen days without it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Doctors
Health
Cold
Fanatic: A man who does what God would do – if He only had the facts straight.
Anonymous
Definitions
Fanatic
Ascribe: Newspaper reporter.
Anonymous
Definitions
Ascribe
Wolf: A fellow who wants his hands on a girl, but doesn’t want a girl on his hands.
Anonymous
Definitions
Men
People
Wolf
Kiss: A course of procedure, cunningly devised, for the mutual stoppage of conversation when words are superfluous.
Oliver Herford
(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Definitions
Kiss
Friend: A good friend is like a good bra… hard to find, supportive, comfortable, and always close to your heart.
Anonymous
Definitions
Friends
People
Nice Girl: One who whispers sweet nothing-doings in your ear.
Anonymous
Definitions
Nice Girl
Tax Reform: Taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Taxes
Tax Reform
Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Individuals
Language
Bore
Listening
Fanatic: One who, having lost sight of his goal, redoubles his efforts.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Fanatics
Zeal: A nervous disorder affecting the young and inexperienced.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Zeal
Diploma: A job-hunting license.
Definitions
Diploma
Adolescence: That period when children feel their parents should be told the facts of life.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Adolescence
Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else have your own way.
Anonymous
Definitions
Diplomacy
Businessman: One who could have made more money with less trouble in an easier line.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Businessman
Page 3 of 78
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