Subject: Definitions (Page 4)

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Internship: A sleepless ordeal imposed on young M.D.’s for the purpose of weeding out the weak and infirm among them, and eroding the health of the survivors sufficiently to ensure better empathy in the years to come.

Definitions Doctors

Home: A place where man goes to raise a fuss because something went wrong at the office.

Definitions Places

April 1: The day we are reminded of what we are the other 364.

Definitions Fools Intelligence

Mugger: A benevolent citizen of the streets who frequently spares the lives of total strangers in exchange for any cash and valuables in their possession.

Crime Definitions

Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that hey cannot separately plunder a third.

Definitions Politics

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look “like a tramp.”

Appearance Definitions

Tricycle: A tot rod.

Definitions

Bimbo: Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife.

Definitions Women

Graffiti: Urban scrawl.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Chic: Considered smart without the deadening implication of intelligence.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Self-evident: Evident to one's self and to nobody else.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Doorman: A genius who can open the door of your car with one hand, help you in with the other, and still have one left for the tip.

Definitions Occupations

Underwear: An article of clothing which, when kept clean, ensures the wearer will never have an accident.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Friend: Someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.

Definitions Friends People

Centaur: A man with a horse where his pants ought to be.

Definitions

Fishing: A venerable contest in which modern man pits his intelligence and technology against the native wit of primitive aquatic vertebrates, and generally finishes second.

Activities Definitions

Post Office: U.S. Snail.

Communication Definitions

Domestic Harmony: Music produced only if the husband plays second fiddle.

Definitions Marriage

Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.

Definitions Government Law

Twilight: All the difference between day and night.

Definitions Time

Darling: The popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Definitions