Subject: Definitions (Page 5)

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Yodeling: Slope opera.

Definitions Wordplay

Seamstress: 250 pounds in a size 6.

Appearance Definitions Fat

Accountant: One who uses your books to figure his profit.

Definitions Occupations

Testosterone: Hormone which causes facial hair, muscularity, a deep voice, speeding tickets, the desire to watch professional wrestling, Arnold Shwarzenegger movies, war, fist fights, and the need to purchase cocktails for women with names like “Boom Boom. ”

Definitions Men

Beauty parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.

Definitions

Bragging: The patter of tiny feats.

Definitions

Anatomy: The belly of a very small insect.

Definitions Wordplay

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Age Definitions Old

Yardstick: One foot on each side and one in the middle.

Definitions

Alimony: The high cost of leaving.

Definitions Marriage

Ignoramus: A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Delayed Payment: A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

Definitions Money

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

Beliefs Definitions God

Hot Pants: Breeches of promise.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Bore: A person who has nothing to say and says it.

Definitions

Luck: An explanation for the other fellows’ success.

Definitions

X Chromosome: a genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs.

Definitions Men People

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away.

Definitions Occupations

Education: One of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Definitions Education

Average Person: One who thinks someone else is the average person.

Definitions People

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Activities Definitions