Subject: Definitions (Page 76)

View All Definitions

Fruitcake: The gift that keeps on giving.

Definitions

Parole: A period at the end of a sentence.

Definitions

Altar-Boy: A type of bicycle accident.

Definitions

Character: What you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.

Definitions

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Men

Diploma: A job-hunting license.

Definitions

Desire: The thing that is so often nipped in the budget.

Definitions Emotions

Prophylactic: A rubber check.

Definitions

Specialist: A man who knows more and more about less and less.

Definitions

Fore: A golf bawl.

Definitions Golf Sports

Experience: What causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.

Definitions Mistakes

Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Definitions

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

Consultation: A medical term meaning “share the wealth.”

Definitions

Vegetarian: Indian word for bad hunter.

Definitions

Taxes: A funding method which allows people to test their powers of deduction.

Definitions Taxes

Eulogy: Praise that’s too much and too late.

Death Definitions

Weed: A plant whose virtues have not been discovered.

Definitions

Altar: To change through marriage.

Definitions Marriage

Elector: One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Language

Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language