Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Definitions
(Page 76)
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Fruitcake: The gift that keeps on giving.
Anonymous
Definitions
Fruitcake
Parole: A period at the end of a sentence.
Anonymous
Definitions
Parole
Altar-Boy: A type of bicycle accident.
Anonymous
Definitions
Altar-Boy
Character: What you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.
Anonymous
Definitions
Character
Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.
Rick Bayan
(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions
Men
Urinal
Diploma: A job-hunting license.
Definitions
Diploma
Desire: The thing that is so often nipped in the budget.
Anonymous
Definitions
Emotions
Desire
Prophylactic: A rubber check.
Anonymous
Definitions
Prophylactic
Specialist: A man who knows more and more about less and less.
Anonymous
Definitions
Specialist
Fore: A golf bawl.
Anonymous
Definitions
Golf
Sports
Experience: What causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.
Anonymous
Definitions
Mistakes
Experience
Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Definitions
Perfume
Smell
Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Bowling alley
Consultation: A medical term meaning “share the wealth.”
Anonymous
Definitions
Consultation
Vegetarian: Indian word for bad hunter.
Anonymous
Definitions
Vegetarian
Taxes: A funding method which allows people to test their powers of deduction.
Anonymous
Definitions
Taxes
Eulogy: Praise that’s too much and too late.
Anonymous
Death
Definitions
Eulogy
Praise
Weed: A plant whose virtues have not been discovered.
Anonymous
Definitions
Gardening
Weed
Altar: To change through marriage.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Altar
Elector: One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Elections/Voting
Government
Language
Elector
Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Intelligence
Language
Brains
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