Subject: Education

80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.

A lot of people think kids say the darnedest things, but so would you if you had no education.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker

When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian

Teaching wasn’t that bad – except for the kids.

comedian

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule.

(1948 – ) American writer & mathematician

Education is the process of moving from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything one learned in school.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

If lessons are learned in defeat, as they say, our team is really getting a great education.

American football coach

I read Shakespeare and the Bible and I can shoot dice; that’s what I call a liberal education.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress

You're looking at a very proud Canadian who is very proud of the educational system in Canadia.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

A lot of people think kids say the darnedest things, but so would you if you had no education.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)

A prerequisite for a desired course will be offered only during the following semester.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over?… movie day

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian

Interviewer: Auburn is a pretty good school; to graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom.

comedian

"We Hate Math" says 4 in 10 – A Majority of Americans

We all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist