Subject: Education

Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule.

(1948 – ) American writer & mathematician

Thornton Melon: Boy, what a great-looking place. When I used to dream about going to college, this is the way I always pictured it.
Jason Melon: Wait a minute. When did you dream about going to college?
Melon: When I used to fall asleep in high school.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist

I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.

(1882 – 1950) American attorney, politician, liberal activist & actor

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker

[Coedness] is like a radical agenda forced on college students.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)

What we learn after we know it all, is what counts.

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

I have never been jealous; not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I read Shakespeare and the Bible and I can shoot dice; that’s what I call a liberal education.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress

You can learn many things from children… how much patience you have for instance.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

Anatomy: A class that sounds vaguely risqué until you find out what it really involves.

One in For Kids Drops Out of High School

Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, it was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman

Adolescence is the time in life when a youngster is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist

The specialist learns more and more about less and less until, finally, he knows everything about nothing; whereas the generalist learns less and less about more and more until, finally, he knows nothing about everything.

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