Subject: Education

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

If you can't learn to do it well, you should learn to enjoy doing it badly.

With one or two exceptions, colleges expect their players of games to be reasonably literate.

(1898 – 1971) English classical scholar & academic

I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak.

American basketball player

I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.

(1882 – 1950) American attorney, politician, liberal activist & actor

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Before he died my father told me he never really walked to school without any shoes.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian

We learn from experience that men never learn from experience.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

 This job is better than I could get if I used my college degree, which, at this point, I can't remember what it was in.

professional football player

I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts – Do You Want Fries With That?

I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom.

comedian

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.

A lot of people think kids say the darnedest things, but so would you if you had no education.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

(1974 – ) American comedian

The schoolteacher is certainly underpaid as a child-minder, but ludicrously overpaid as an educator.

(1929 – 1994) English playwright, screenwriter & actor

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

Education: A technique employed to open minds so that they may go from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I read Shakespeare and the Bible and I can shoot dice; that’s what I call a liberal education.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress

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