Subject: Education

We learn something every day, and lots of times it’s that what we learned the day before was wrong.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor

Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.

Democracy means government by the uneducated, while aristocracy means government by the badly educated.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

School teachers are not fully appreciated by parents until it rains all day Saturday.

The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet

Dan Quayle is going around the country giving C students a bad name.

American comedian, writer, producer & actor

To learn that all I really need to know I learned in kindergarten, I needed to go to grad school.

Graduate school: The place where a young scholar goes off their parents’ payroll – and on to their spouse’s.

Class schedules are designed so that every student will have time to waste between classes.

She was old too, when she went to school they didn’t have history.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

1. The more general the title of a course, the less you will learn from it. 2. The more specific a title is, the less you will be able to apply it.

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything one learned in school.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom.


I was thinkin' maybe we should just bomb ourselves so we could upgrade our school system.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger

A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

If you’re studying Geology, which is all facts, as soon as you get out of school you forget it all, but Philosophy you remember just enough to screw you up for the rest of your life.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. – unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.

(1928 – ) American R&B and rock & roll singer-songwriter

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around; but when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad’s payroll – and on to his wife’s.

How is it that little children are so intelligent and men are so stupid? … it must be education that does it.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
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