Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Education
(Page 5)
If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.
Corollary to the Fifth Law of Applied Terror
Education
Murphy’s Laws
Places
School
Exams
Democracy means government by the uneducated, while aristocracy means government by the badly educated.
G.K. Chesterton
(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Democracy
Education
Government
Aristocracy
Something very sad about the fact that I haven’t read Moby Dick, but I have read the Kindergarten Cop Wikipedia page.
Aziz Ansari
(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Communication
Education
Reading/Writing
Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.
Garry Trudeau
(1948 – ) American cartoonist (Doonesbury)
Communication
School
Speech
Graduation speeches
I took a course in speed waiting… now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Rod Schmidt
Learning
Time
Waiting
Learn to be sincere, even if you have to fake it.
Solomon Short
David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Characteristics
Education
Fake
Sincerity
All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.
Charles Barkley
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball
Education
School
Sports
Grades
During exams you are permitted to look down for inspiration and up in exasperation, but you are not permitted to look side to side for information.
Anonymous
Education
Exams
When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
Gracie Allen
(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Education
School
Time
Teachers
Colleges spend more money on the promotion of the Heisman than the Pentagon spends on toilets.
'Beano' Cook
(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Education
Football
Sports
College
Heisman Trophy
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education
Soap
Money enables a man to get along without an education, and education enables him to get along without money.
Marcelene Cox
writer
Education
Money
College was like a four-year game show called “Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep?”
John Mulaney
(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Education
School
College
Christ, seven years of college, down the drain.
John Belushi
(1949 – 1982) American comedian, actor & musician
Education
School
TV/Movie Quotes
As Bluto in “Animal House”
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
Bok's Law
Education
Intelligence
Money
Murphy’s Laws
School
Stupidity
Expense
We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America
Education
Intelligence
Misspokements
Places
World
I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak.
Shaquille O'Neal
American basketball player
Education
Intelligence
Misspokements
School
Exams
Genitals are a great distraction to scholarship.
Malcolm Bradbury
(1932 – 2000) English author & academic
Education
Learning
Sex
Genitals
Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.
Vernon Law
(1930 – ) American baseball player
Education
Intelligence
Experience
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Albert Einstein
(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Education
Ideas
Intelligence
Curiosity
What men learn from history is that men do not learn from history.
Economists' Law I
Education
History
Learning
Murphy’s Laws
People
Time
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