Subject: Education (Page 5)

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

Democracy means government by the uneducated, while aristocracy means government by the badly educated.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist

Something very sad about the fact that I haven’t read Moby Dick, but I have read the Kindergarten Cop Wikipedia page.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1948 – ) American cartoonist (Doonesbury)

I took a course in speed waiting… now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.


Learn to be sincere, even if you have to fake it.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author

All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

During exams you are permitted to look down for inspiration and up in exasperation, but you are not permitted to look side to side for information.

When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)

Colleges spend more money on the promotion of the Heisman than the Pentagon spends on toilets.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Money enables a man to get along without an education, and education enables him to get along without money.

writer

College was like a four-year game show called “Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep?”

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer

Christ, seven years of college, down the drain.

(1949 – 1982) American comedian, actor & musician

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak.

American basketball player

Genitals are a great distraction to scholarship.

(1932 – 2000) English author & academic

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.

(1930 – ) American baseball player

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

What men learn from history is that men do not learn from history.