Subject: Education (Page 5)

A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of tables, and wake Mommy before noon.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Children Family Learning

In your toughest final – for the first time all year – the most distractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education School

I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom.

comedian
Education School Science/Weather

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School

Before he died my father told me he never really walked to school without any shoes.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Death Fathers School Situations

He is so old… when he was in school they didn’t teach history!

Age Education Exaggerations Old School

In public school my daughter was voted most likely to conceive.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Relationships School Sex

Democracy means government by the uneducated, while aristocracy means government by the badly educated.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Democracy Education Government

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

Education School

Collegians Are Turning To Vegetables

Headlines School

Class schedules are designed so that every student will have time to waste between classes.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

I was the only black in every class; hard to be absent.

(1969 – ) American comedian & actor
Education

Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule.

(1948 – ) American writer & mathematician
Education Intelligence

All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Education Life

Christ, seven years of college, down the drain.

(1949 – 1982) American comedian, actor & musician
Education School TV/Movie Quotes

You never catch on until after the test.

Education Murphy’s Laws School Understanding

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

(1888 – 1964) American folklorist, writer & newspaper columnist
Education Ideas Intelligence School

We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bellyful of words and do not know a thing.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Education Learning School

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors School