Subject: Education » School

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1903 – 1966) English writer

She was old too, when she went to school they didn’t have history.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Teaching Latin to someone like me in high school was somewhat like trying to teach a pig to dance; it’s a waste of the teacher’s time and it irritates the pig.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

(1888 – 1964) American folklorist, writer & newspaper columnist

He is so old… when he was in school they didn’t teach history!

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

I was thinkin' maybe we should just bomb ourselves so we could upgrade our school system.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger

I had a terrible education… I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Hedda Hopper: How do you know so much about men?

West: Baby, I went to night school.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

1. The more general the title of a course, the less you will learn from it. 2. The more specific a title is, the less you will be able to apply it.

With one or two exceptions, colleges expect their players of games to be reasonably literate.

(1898 – 1971) English classical scholar & academic

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything one learned in school.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had… so he sent me to a girls school.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host

You might be a redneck if… you refer to the fifth grade as “my senior year.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad’s payroll – and on to his wife’s.

Absolute Zero: The lowest grade attainable on a test.

I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia; not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it.


(1919 – 1990) American boxing champion

If you were forced to read the book in high school, you’ll probably hate the movie too.