Subject: Education » School (Page 3)

In your toughest final – for the first time all year – the most distractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

The hardest thing to do at a community college is cheat on a test because the only people you can cheat off of also go to a community college.

American stand-up comedian
Education School

1. The more general the title of a course, the less you will learn from it. 2. The more specific a title is, the less you will be able to apply it.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

I hated Geography… because it’s just like History… except without people and dates.

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Education History School Time

If you were forced to read the book in high school, you’ll probably hate the movie too.

Books Education Film Murphy’s Laws School

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad’s payroll – and on to his wife’s.

Definitions Education School

When I was in college, we did mushrooms and acid… and did I mention acid?

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Activities Drugs School

I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom.

comedian
Education School Science/Weather

I never did very well in math – I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn’t meant my answers literally.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Education School

You might be a redneck if… you have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Mothers People Rednecks School

How can you tell if a Korean broke into your house?… your dog is missing, and your homework is done.

(1962 – ) American television host, actress & comedian
Animals Dogs People School

After I failed my second test, I grabbed my teacher by the front of the shirt and said “Are you ‘trying’ to keep this shit a secret?”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Education School

I never graduated from Iowa. I was only there for two terms – Truman's and Eisenhower's.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Education School

A prerequisite for a desired course will be offered only during the following semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

American football coach
Activities Education Football Misspokements School Sports

My recipe for bad grades: don't study.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Education School

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. – unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.

(1928 – ) American R&B and rock & roll singer-songwriter
Education Occupations School Work

The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Education Money School

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Computers Dogs School Things

Graduate school: The place where a young scholar goes off their parents’ payroll – and on to their spouse’s.

Education School