Subject: Emotions

Learn to laugh at yourself, we certainly have.

Love looks through a telescope, envy through a microscope.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.

(1933 – ) English actress & author

Loving Chicago is like loving a woman with a broken nose.

(1909 – 1981) writer

Nothing makes a smoker happier than to see an old person smoking.

(1961 – 1994) comedian

All you really need is love… but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

cartoon character in, Peanuts, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)

If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? … well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.

(1982 – ) American author

I only like two kinds of men; domestic and foreign.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Happy as a frog in God's pocket

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re probably broke.

There’s no such thing as fun for the whole family.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering… and it’s all over much too soon.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I get those maternal feelings; like when I’m laying on the couch and I can’t reach the remote control.

(1965 – ) American comedian

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor

There’s nothing to fear but life itself.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Happiness is… finding two olives in your martini when you’re hungry.

(1925 – 2005) television host
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