Quotes and One Liners
humorous quotations, expressions, proverbs, headlines & more
Some Popular Authors
Alfred E. Neuman
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Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
I’d like to tell you some jokes now, but you’d only laugh.
(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.
George Jean Nathan
(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Anyone who says, 'You had to be there,' should just not have told you the thing in the first place because it's not funny.
(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.
(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
They laughed at Edison and Einstein, but somehow I still feel uncomfortable when they laugh at me.
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused.
(1934 – ) American actress, dancer, activist & author
Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.
When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
(1920 – ) Hungarian writer
Somebody once said that laughter is the best medicine, and that was clearly written by a man that never tried Vicodin.
(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
As my mother always says, “If you have to swear to get laughs, then you’re obviously a c**t.”
(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
My girlfriend always laughs during sex… no matter what she’s reading.
(1955 –2011) business magnate, co-founder & CEO of Apple
Although it is a far cry from there to here, he laughed all the way.
Arthur ‘Bugs’ Baer
(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you’re Canadian and people laugh.
(1950 – 1994) Canadian actor & comedian
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
A. Whitney Brown
(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.
(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
He who laughs, lasts.
Mary Pettibone Poole
At their core, women fear that men will kill them; at their core, men fear that women will laugh at them.
Gavin de Becker
(1954 – ) security specialist, advisor & author
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