Subject: Emotions (Page 2)

What’s the point of having children if you can’t buy their love?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down… or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog; few people are interested and the frog dies as a result.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist

By all means, marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

(469 BC – 399) BC Greek philosopher

Happiness equals reality minus expectations.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”

Men always want to be a woman's first love; women like to be a man's last romance.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

I don’t think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

(1926 – 2012) Irish comedian & actor

A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president

Sex alleviates tension; love causes it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

(1920 – ) Hungarian writer

Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.

Men love war because it allows them to look serious… it is the one thing that stops women laughing at them.

(1926 – 2005) English novelist & essayist

Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor

Love is blind… but marriage is the real eye-opener.

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.

Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

(1888 – 1973) American pioneer in the study of psychiatry

I wear my heart on my sleeve… I wear my liver on my pant leg.


Even snakes are afraid of snakes.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol