Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Emotions
(Page 21)
Love and marriage go together like angel cake and anthrax.
Julie Burchill
(1959 – ) English writer & columnist
Emotions
Love
Marriage
When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics
Emotions
Happiness
Good
If you can’t help out with a little money, at least give a sympathetic groan.
Jewish saying
Emotions
Sympathy
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age
Emotions
Fear
Old
Flowers
You can do what you want, but saving love doesn't bring any interest.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions
Love
Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Age
Emotions
Money
Old
Fun
Life insurance
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age
Emotions
Failure
Friends
Sasdness
Laughter is the best medicine – unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.
Jasper Carrott
(Robert Norman Davis) (1945 – ) British comedian & actor
Emotions
Health
Laughter
Diabetes
Medicine
Love’s like the measles… all the worse when it comes late in life.
Douglas Jerrold
(1803 – 1857) English writer
Emotions
Love
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Alan King
(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Books
Communication
Emotions
Love
Marriage
Reading/Writing
Your heart is my piñata.
Chuck Palahniuk
(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Anger
Emotions
Love
Piñata
Farmers only worry during the growing season, but townspeople worry all the time.
Edgar Watson Howe
(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Emotions
Farmers
Worries
Nobody ever had to steal Georgie's affections – he gave them away at the drop of a skirt.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Emotions
Sex
Affections
George Jessel
Are you so unobservant that you do not yet realize that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Emotions
Happiness
Impossible
Sanity
When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them… but do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
Bob Saget
(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & television ho
Emotions
Love
Pain
I know it’s often been said that money won’t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, it’s a lovely thing to have around the house.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions
Happiness
Money
Don’t split your britches
Country expression
Emotions
Don’t get riled up
Saving love doesn't bring any interest.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions
Love
Money
Saving
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
John Barrymore
(1882 – 1942) American actor
Appearance
Body
Emotions
Love
Beauty
When people are laughing, they’re generally not killing each other.
Alan Alda
(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter
Emotions
Laughter
My grandfather used to make home movies and edit out the joy.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions
Family
Happiness
Joy
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