Subject: Emotions (Page 5)

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

It was a very heart-rendering story.

Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down… or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

My wife and I were happy for 20 years… then we met.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it, Whenever you're right, shut up.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

Heat produced by pressure expands to fill the mind available, from which it can pass only to a cooler mind.

Love will make you move all the way across the country and sell all your shit… just to get away from that person.

(1967 – ) is an American comedian & actor

A lot of people don't know it, but onions make me sad!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

In real love you want the other person's good; in romantic love, you want the other person.

(1886 – 1973) American writer

A lot of people are afraid of heights, but not me… I'm afraid of widths.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician

Men love war because it allows them to look serious… it is the one thing that stops women laughing at them.

(1926 – 2005) English novelist & essayist

Are you so unobservant that you do not yet realize that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

I look like the wrath of grapes.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re probably broke.

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs; if you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

Love never dies of starvation, but often of indigestion.

(1620 – 1705) French author, courtesan & patron of the arts