Subject: Entertainment

Nowadays Mitchum doesn’t so much act as point his suit at people.

(1946 – ) British journalist & broadcaster

The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

If [an actor] says, 'But what's my motivation?… 'I say, 'Your salary.'

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood – Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.

(1945 – ) American actress, film director & producer

What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.

(1848 – 1907) Irish-born American sculptor

An artist cannot talk about his art any more than a plant can discuss horticulture.

(1889 – 1963) French poet, novelist, playwright, artist & filmmaker

The ice cream truck in my neighborhood plays “Helter Skelter.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director

God is good, but never dance in a small boat.

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

A piano store looks like a funeral parlor for music.

(1888 – 1963) Spanish writer & dramatist

I practice when I’m loaded.

(1925 – 1985) American jazz saxophonist

If she was cast as Lady Godiva the horse would steal the show.

I have no problem not listening to The Temptations.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

I saw a poster for Mission Impossible III the other day. I thought: It’s not impossible if he’s already done it twice.

(1980 – ) English comedian & novelist

Mr Lewis’ pictures appeared to have been painted by a mailed fist in a cotton glove.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet

I don't like sex on television… I keep falling off.

I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and discovering there's a gas bill tied to it.

(1955 – ) English actor

You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Acting is really about lying and, in my case, drinking coffee.

(1963 – ) American actor & producer

Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy.

(1947 — ) American actor, writer, comedian & director

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