Subject: Entertainment » Music

The notes are right, but if I listened they would be wrong.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

I am playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

(1926 – 1984) English comedian

I like Wagner's music better than any other music; it is so loud that one can talk the whole time without people hearing what one says.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Australia's gift to insomniacs; it's nothing but the blonde singing the bland.

(1947 – 1979) American singer

He hasn't just lost the plot, he's lost the whole library!

I played a blank tape on full volume; the mime who lives next door complained.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Jazz: Music invented for the torture of imbeciles.

(1852 – 1933) author, educator & clergyman

After conducting a concert in a small town, I once received the following note from a farmer who had attended the performance: “Dear Sir, I wish to inform you that the man who played the long thing you pull in and out only did so during the brief periods you were looking at him.

(1867 – 1957) Italian conductor

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be… it is what it used to be; that is what's wrong with it.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Classical Jazz: Rock of ages.

I have no problem not listening to The Temptations.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

The ice cream truck in my neighborhood plays “Helter Skelter.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

If he’d been making shell cases during the war it might have been better for music.

(1835 – 1921) French Late-Romantic composer, conductor & pianist

The chief objection of playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director

Over a fifteen-year period Jack raised almost $6,000,000 for the benefit of classical music; of course, a lot of people claimed that that was his way of paying for the damage he'd caused it.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

If you're gonna blame teen sex on rock 'n' roll, why don't we just blame incest on country and western?


All music is folk music; I ain’t never heard no horse sing a song.

(1901 – 1971) American jazz trumpeter and singer

These go to 11.

(1948 – ) English-American screenwriter, musician, director & actor

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