Subject: Entertainment » Music

Jazz: Music invented for the torture of imbeciles.

(1852 – 1933) author, educator & clergyman

Classical Jazz: Rock of ages.

Accordion: An instrument whose music is long drawn out.

I want to be a diva… like people-totally-respect-my-music diva, not diva like carry-my-Diet-Coke-around.

(1980 – ) American singer

I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer

He hasn't just lost the plot, he's lost the whole library!

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Accordion: A pleated bagpipe.

I have no problem not listening to The Temptations.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

I like Wagner’s music better than anybody’s; it is so loud that one can talk the whole time without people hearing what one says.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio; if all the stations are rock ‘n’ roll, there’s a good chance the transmission is shot.

(1940 – ) American radio disc jockey

The New Kids on the Block lip-syncing – who gives a damn?… that's like finding out the Muppets didn't sing their own music.

comedian, television writer

I am thinking it right but beating it wrong.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist

I don’t like my music, but what is my opinion against that of millions of others.

(1904 – 1988) Austrian-American composer

Like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated tin roof.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

They want to play the blues so badly… and that's how they play it – badly!

American bluesman

There are more bad musicians than there is bad music.

(1920 – 2001) Soviet-born violinist & conductor

Shostakovich is without doubt the foremost composer of pornographic music in the history of art.

(1855 – 1937) American musical critic & scholar

Accordion Music: Noise that comes from playing both ends against the middle.

Watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director

Even Bach comes down to the basic suck, blow, suck, suck, blow.

(1914 – 2001) musician, harmonica player