Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Entertainment
(Page 2)
There are only three ages for women in Hollywood – Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.
Goldie Hawn
(1945 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Entertainment
Hollywood
Places
Yeah, this comedy is all a part of my “Get Rich Slow” scheme… and it’s working.
Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment
Money
Wealth
Comedy
I'm convinced that his voice comes out of his eyelids.
Oscar Levant
(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment
People
Perry Como
Singing
Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Baseball
Language
Music
Italian
Opera
My father originated the limbo dance… trying to get into a pay toilet.
Slappy White
(1921 – 1995) American comedian & actor
Dance
Entertainment
Limbo
Pay toilets
Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.
Charlie Chaplin
(1889 – 1977) English comedian, actor & film director
Emotions
Entertainment
Film
Life
Comedy
Tragedy
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
Bob Hope
(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Communication
Entertainment
Music
Exaggerations
Phyllis Diller
[Katherine Hepburn] is not a great actress, but one with a certain distinction which, with training, might possibly take the place of great acting in an emergency.
Robert Benchley
(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Acting
Entertainment
Katherine Hepburn
My greatest acting performance is when I check the caller ID, then adopt an air of polite curiosity as I answer the phone “Hello?”
Seth MacFarlane
(1973 – ) animator, writer, actor & producer
Acting
Entertainment
Dictum on television scripts: We don't want it good – we want it Tuesday.
Denis Norden
(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Communication
Entertainment
Reading/Writing
Television
Nine times out of ten in the arts, as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed.
Mencken's Second Law
Entertainment
Murphy’s Laws
Arts
Brass bands are all very well in their place – outdoors and several miles away.
Thomas Beecham
(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment
Music
Brass bands
Acting is merely the art of keeping a large number of people from coughing.
Ralph Richardson
(1902 – 1983) English actor
Acting
Entertainment
Occupations
The original Mickey Mouse cartoon was in Mouse, with English subtitles.
Steve Connelly
comedian
Communication
Entertainment
Language
Cartoons
Mickey Mouse
Support bacteria – they're the only culture some people have.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment
People
Bacteria
Culture
No, no… Jimmy Stewart for governor… Ronald Reagan for his best friend.
Jack L. Warner
(1892 – 1978) Canadian-American film producer (Warner Brothers)
Entertainment
Film
People
Situations
On Ronald Reagan being elected governor
When having my portrait painted I don’t want justice, I want mercy.
Billy Hughes
(1862 – 1952) Australian Prime Minister & politician
Art
Entertainment
Self
Portraits
Quartet: Four men, all of whom think that the other three can’t sing.
Anonymous
Definitions
Entertainment
Quartet
Singing
Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy.
Albert Brooks
(1947 — ) American actor, writer, comedian & director
Entertainment
Hollywood
Places
Screenwriters
We produce more failed pilots than the French air force.
Alec Baldwin
(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Entertainment
Television
TV/Movie Quotes
As Jack Donaghy in “30 Rock”
He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner.
Johnny Carson
(1925 – 2005) television host
Beliefs
Entertainment
Insults
Opinion
People
Of Chevy Chase
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