Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Entertainment
(Page 3)
The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny… yet no French sex comedies are funny.
Matt Groening
(1954 – ) cartoonist, screenwriter, producer & creator of
The Simpsons
Entertainment
Film
Places
Reviews/Criticism
French
I don’t like this reality television, I have to be honest… I think real people should not be on television; it’s for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real.
Garry Shandling
(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Entertainment
Television
Reality television
All through the five acts of that Shakespearean tragedy he played the King as though under momentary apprehension that someone else was about to play the Ace.
Eugene Field
(1850 – 1895) American writer
Acting
Reviews/Criticism
“King Lear”
Theater
Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up every time.
Alfred Hitchcock
(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Entertainment
Television
Toasters
One can’t judge Wagner’s opera
Lohengrin
after a first hearing, and I certainly don’t intend hearing it a second time.
Gioachino Rossini
(1792 – 1868) Italian composer
Entertainment
Reviews/Criticism
Lohengrin
Opera
An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Entertainment
Hollywood
Places
Producers
Isn't it possible for them to get a real fascist instead of this guy who plays one on TV?
Mort Sahl
(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics
Communication
Television
Criticism
Sean Hannity
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.
Frank Zappa
(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Art
Entertainment
Sales
I'm not an actor, and I enclose met press cuttings to prove it.
Victor Mature
(1915 – 1999) American stage, film & television actor
Acting
Occupations
Work
On being refused membership to an exclusive golf club
Television Programming: Material that fills the time between commercials.
Anonymous
Definitions
Entertainment
Television Programming
Acting is a form of confusion.
Tallulah Bankhead
(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Acting
Entertainment
Occupations
Work
Milton was probably the best at dealing with hecklers, but then he probably had the most practice.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment
Milton Berle
We used to have actresses trying to become stars; now we have stars trying to become actresses.
Laurence Olivier
(1907 – 1989) English actor, director & producer
Acting
Entertainment
Actresses
Celebrity
My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
Peter De Vries
(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Entertainment
Television
Radio
Art, like morality, consists in drawing a line somewhere.
G.K. Chesterton
(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Art
Entertainment
Morality
Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.
Noel Coward
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment
Intelligence
Wit
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Entertainment
Music
Classical music
I play the harmonica, but only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos
Music
Things
Harmonica
Speed
Window
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
Paul Beatty
(1962 – ) American author & poet
Entertainment
Places
World
Stage
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Gallagher
(1946 – ) American comedian
Entertainment
Television
Wordplay
Barbra’s only spontaneous moment in
Prince of Tides
comes when Nick tosses her a football and she screams “My nails!”
Libby Gelman-Waxner
(Paul Rudnick) (1957 – ) Satiric film critic & author
Acting
Reviews/Criticism
“Prince of Tides”
Barbra Streisand
Page 3 of 37
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