Subject: Entertainment » Television

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die; I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help."

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

I bought a portable cable TV.

comedian

I don’t want to say too much about illegal immigration; I’m afraid my views will be reported on the Cinco O’Clock News.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign

Hey, Alex – You know the really great thing about television? If something important happens, anywhere in the world, night or day… you can always change the channel.

(1938 – ) American actor

On the TV screen, pure drivel tends to drive off ordinary drivel.

Then we figured out we could just park them in front of the TV; that's how I was raised and I turned out TV.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

(1961 – 1994) comedian

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.

I have high-definition television, because I felt the lack of resolution was affecting my ability to solve cases on C.S.I.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host

Argentina invaded the Falklands because they had ESPN and the Argentines wanted to get the late scores.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

Men don’t care what’s on TV… they only care what else is on TV.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

You know that show 'Teen Mom'? … or if you're from the South, 'Mom.'

(1981 – ) American Comedian

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

(1936 – ) television talk show host

If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.

Last night, me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back… luckily, I was the one facing the telly.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian

Marriage is like having cable with one channel.

(Nathaniel Stroman) (1963 – ) American actor, voice artist & comedian

You might be a redneck if… the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I love sports; whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on the radio.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president

I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
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