Subject: Entertainment » Television

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator

In honor of the late George Carlin, here are seven more words you can't say on TV: "And the Emmy goes to Bob Saget."

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

There’s nothing but porn on TV these days. I tell you, it makes me so angry, I sit on the end of my bed and shake my fist at it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I know what the public want because I am one of them.

(1906 – 1998) Russian-born English film producer & media mogul

The first Presidential debate was down in Florida and residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

On the TV screen, pure drivel tends to drive off ordinary drivel.

English Channel: The BBC.

You might be a redneck if… an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

All television is children's television.

advertising expert & editor

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

(1867 – 1959) architect, interior designer, writer & educator

I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Television? … The word is half Latin and half Greek; no good can come of it.

(1846 – 1932) British journalist, publisher & politician

Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.

(1912 – 1992) American news journalist

It was so beautiful today that I only watched four hours of “Law & Order” in my apartment.

American comedian & writer

I don’t want to say too much about illegal immigration; I’m afraid my views will be reported on the Cinco O’Clock News.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian