Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 2)

You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

I love sports; whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on the radio.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president

Begathon: A multi-day event on public television, used to raise money so you won't have to watch commercials.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician

The prize on that show: another contestant.

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and then selling your story to TV.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

If there are only two shows worth watching, they will be on at the same time.

All television is children's television.

advertising expert & editor

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General

Sometimes cameras and television are good to people and sometimes they aren’t; I don’t know if it’s the way you say it, or how you look.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

You might be a redneck if… you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist

If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.

(1928 – 2009) American television writer, playwright, screenwriter & author
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