Quotes and One Liners
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Some Popular Authors
Alfred E. Neuman
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This is good because up until now, the only channel to find 24-hour coverage of the NFL players was Court TV.
(1963 – ) television host & comedian
On the NFL starting its own cable network
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
(1924 – 1975) American writer, screenwriter & creator of
The Twilight Zone
You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your bookcase.
English standup comedian
MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken.
(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
I love sports; whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on the radio.
(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and selling your story to T.V.!
Alfred E. Neuman
fictional mascot and cover boy of
, an American humor magazine
English Channel: The BBC.
Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.
All In the Family
I have high-definition television, because I felt the lack of resolution was affecting my ability to solve cases on C.S.I.
(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
When they list the great things of the 20th Century, they’ll say, penicillin, Sophia Loren, jet travel and ESPN.
(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
On the TV screen, pure drivel tends to drive off ordinary drivel.
Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?
disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist
My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
Peter De Vries
(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
I don’t want to say too much about illegal immigration; I’m afraid my views will be reported on the Cinco O’Clock News.
(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Enraged by Bristol Palin on ‘Dancing,’ Man Shoots TV, Prompts Standoff
The Journal Sentinel (Milwaukee)
Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Television opened up a whole new field of unemployment for him.
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Of John Barrymore
I don't watch television, I think it destroys the art of talking about oneself.
(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Last night, me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back… luckily, I was the one facing the telly.
(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.
(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
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