Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 2)

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer

I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up… and for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.

American comedian

You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

My husband went to Radio Shack and got some dog ears for the TV.

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

The prize on that show: another contestant.

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Argentina invaded the Falklands because they had ESPN and the Argentines wanted to get the late scores.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president

Television is for appearing on, not looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Never buy a man a plasma TV until you’re married; a lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don’t need a girlfriend.

(1963 – ) American comedian & author

The program you've been looking forward to all week will be preempted.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

It used to be that we in films were the lowest form of art; now we have something to look down on.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer

Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality

If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.

(1928 – 2009) American television writer, playwright, screenwriter & author

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and then selling your story to TV.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
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