Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 2)

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author

You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Argentina invaded the Falklands because they had ESPN and the Argentines wanted to get the late scores.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.

(1928 – 2009) American television writer, playwright, screenwriter & author

Television opened up a whole new field of unemployment for him.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

You don't even know what they're selling until the very end: three rabbits are on a log, and one of them goes home and hangs himself – 'Buy a bike!'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

It used to be that we in films were the lowest form of art; now we have something to look down on.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

(1867 – 1959) architect, interior designer, writer & educator

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

Isn't it possible for them to get a real fascist instead of this guy who plays one on TV?

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor

In Russia we only had two TV channels: Channel One was propaganda, Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: “Turn back at once to Channel One.”

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer

You know you’re getting old when you start watching golf on TV and enjoying it.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist

In honor of the late George Carlin, here are seven more words you can't say on TV: "And the Emmy goes to Bob Saget."

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author

If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president

You might be a redneck if… you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I bought a portable cable TV.

comedian

You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I know what the public want because I am one of them.

(1906 – 1998) Russian-born English film producer & media mogul
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