Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 2)

TV: a clever contraction, derived from the words Terrible Vaudeville; we call it a medium, because nothing's well done.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist

Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.

(1921 – 2000) comedian, television host, musician, actor & writer

Last night, me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back… luckily, I was the one facing the telly.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Television: A watching machine.

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Television has raised writing to a new low.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

You might be a redneck if… you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Enraged by Bristol Palin on ‘Dancing,’ Man Shoots TV, Prompts Standoff

I don't like sex on television… I keep falling off.


If it’s attention you want, don’t get involved with a man during play-off season.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.

(1912 – 1992) American news journalist

Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality

I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

My Comedy Channel – Fox News

My News Channel Comedy Central

You might be a redneck if… an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday… so I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian

Television is for appearing on – not for looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

You might be a redneck if… the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Television is for appearing on, not looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter