Quotes and One Liners
humorous quotations, expressions, proverbs, headlines & more
Some Popular Authors
Alfred E. Neuman
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Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.
(1912 – 1992) American news journalist
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
(1946 – ) American comedian
I don’t want to say too much about illegal immigration; I’m afraid my views will be reported on the Cinco O’Clock News.
(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
You might be a redneck if… an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
You ever look for the remote control and can’t find it, so you just decide, ‘Ah, it looks like I’m not watching TV.”
(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
I don't like sex on television… I keep falling off.
Television is the triumph of machine over people.
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
ESPN is like your family, it’s always there: the networks are like your mother-in-law… they are there on the weekends.
(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
is a truly bizarre blend of programming as it mixes prison and rap culture with Revenge of the Nerds.
“Chozen: Season 1”
Martha Stewart’s a convicted felon and they gave her another television show… what’s next, the Scott Peterson Fishing Hour?
(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Frank Lloyd Wright
(1867 – 1959) architect, interior designer, writer & educator
Enraged by Bristol Palin on ‘Dancing,’ Man Shoots TV, Prompts Standoff
The Journal Sentinel (Milwaukee)
Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.
Richard M. Nixon
(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
English Channel: The BBC.
Isn't it possible for them to get a real fascist instead of this guy who plays one on TV?
(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Marriage is like having cable with one channel.
(Nathaniel Stroman) (1963 – ) American actor, voice artist & comedian
I love sports; whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on the radio.
(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
I don’t like this reality television, I have to be honest… I think real people should not be on television; it’s for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real.
(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.
(1921 – 2000) comedian, television host, musician, actor & writer
Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.
(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality
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