Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 2)

Oh, there's so much nudity on TV, I just sit there shaking my fist.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

Motor racing's less of a sport these days than a commercial break doing 150 mph.

sportswriter

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

I bought a portable cable TV.

comedian

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday… so I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian

You ever look for the remote control and can’t find it, so you just decide, ‘Ah, it looks like I’m not watching TV.”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die; I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help."

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president

Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up every time.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

Television has raised writing to a new low.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

The Complete Law and Order boxed set is now available for only $300; the perfect gift for someone unaware of the existence of USA Network.

American comedian

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

You might be a redneck if… the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I would like to be able to watch the evening news with my family and not have to explain what oral sex means to my wife.

American comedian & writer

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

(1936 – ) television talk show host
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