Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 2)

The first Presidential debate was down in Florida and residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

Enraged by Bristol Palin on ‘Dancing,’ Man Shoots TV, Prompts Standoff

If it’s attention you want, don’t get involved with a man during play-off season.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Nobody can ever learn our military's secrets — unless, you know, they happen to have the Discovery Channel… then, it's pretty easy, just tune in for a few minutes.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.

I don’t like this reality television, I have to be honest… I think real people should not be on television; it’s for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Television: A medium; so called because it is neither rare nor well done.

(1919 – 1962) American comedian, actor & writer

The only new show worth watching will be cancelled.

Television is for appearing on – not for looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

In honor of the late George Carlin, here are seven more words you can't say on TV: "And the Emmy goes to Bob Saget."

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author

All television is children's television.

advertising expert & editor

I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Last night, me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back… luckily, I was the one facing the telly.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian

Argentina invaded the Falklands because they had ESPN and the Argentines wanted to get the late scores.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

The prize on that show: another contestant.

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian

Television opened up a whole new field of unemployment for him.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.

(1912 – 1992) American news journalist

Motor racing's less of a sport these days than a commercial break doing 150 mph.


Sometimes cameras and television are good to people and sometimes they aren’t; I don’t know if it’s the way you say it, or how you look.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
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