Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 2)

Argentina invaded the Falklands because they had ESPN and the Argentines wanted to get the late scores.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Last night, me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back… luckily, I was the one facing the telly.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and selling your story to T.V.!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Television: A watching machine.

Then we figured out we could just park them in front of the TV; that's how I was raised and I turned out TV.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Remember that show My Three Sons? … it’d be funny if it was called My One Dad.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist

I don't watch television, I think it destroys the art of talking about oneself.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director

If there are only two shows worth watching, they will be on at the same time.

Television: A medium; so called because it is neither rare nor well done.

(1919 – 1962) American comedian, actor & writer

There’s nothing but porn on TV these days. I tell you, it makes me so angry, I sit on the end of my bed and shake my fist at it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.

(1912 – 1992) American news journalist

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Enraged by Bristol Palin on ‘Dancing,’ Man Shoots TV, Prompts Standoff

Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up every time.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
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