Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 2)

You ever look for the remote control and can’t find it, so you just decide, ‘Ah, it looks like I’m not watching TV.”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

(1894 – 1956) radio comedian

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

ESPN is like your family, it’s always there: the networks are like your mother-in-law… they are there on the weekends.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author

I would like to be able to watch the evening news with my family and not have to explain what oral sex means to my wife.

American comedian & writer

Men don’t care what’s on TV… they only care what else is on TV.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – ) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Sometimes cameras and television are good to people and sometimes they aren’t; I don’t know if it’s the way you say it, or how you look.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General

Television is for appearing on, not looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

My Comedy Channel – Fox News

My News Channel Comedy Central

Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.

(1912 – 1992) American news journalist

Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality

TV: a clever contraction, derived from the words Terrible Vaudeville; we call it a medium, because nothing's well done.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist

I don't like sex on television… I keep falling off.


If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist

You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

The only new show worth watching will be cancelled.

I told them sandwiches.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion