Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 2)

If the World Series goes seven games, it will be NBC's longest running show this fall.

(1925 – 2005) television host

If there are only two shows worth watching, they will be on at the same time.

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

I have high-definition television, because I felt the lack of resolution was affecting my ability to solve cases on C.S.I.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

(1946 – ) American comedian

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Men don’t care what’s on TV… they only care what else is on TV.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.

(1928 – 2009) American television writer, playwright, screenwriter & author

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and then selling your story to TV.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Isn't it possible for them to get a real fascist instead of this guy who plays one on TV?

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday… so I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian

You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

(1867 – 1959) architect, interior designer, writer & educator

Television is for appearing on – not for looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

This is good because up until now, the only channel to find 24-hour coverage of the NFL players was Court TV.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian

You ever look for the remote control and can’t find it, so you just decide, ‘Ah, it looks like I’m not watching TV.”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

You don't even know what they're selling until the very end: three rabbits are on a log, and one of them goes home and hangs himself – 'Buy a bike!'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

The one function that TV news performs very well is that, when there is no news, we give it you with the same emphasis as if there were.

(1920 – 2003) American television newscaster

You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your bookcase.

English standup comedian

I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
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