Quotes and One Liners
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Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
George Bernard Shaw
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As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
(1936 – ) television talk show host
Television is for appearing on, not looking at.
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and selling your story to T.V.!
Alfred E. Neuman
fictional mascot and cover boy of
, an American humor magazine
Why should people go out and pay to see bad movies when they can stay home and see bad television for nothing.
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Hey, Alex – You know the really great thing about television? If something important happens, anywhere in the world, night or day… you can always change the channel.
(1938 – ) American actor
As Jim Ignatowski in “Taxi”
Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?
disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist
On the TV screen, pure drivel tends to drive off ordinary drivel.
Begathon: A multi-day event on public television, used to raise money so you won't have to watch commercials.
(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Isn't it possible for them to get a real fascist instead of this guy who plays one on TV?
(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday… so I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.
(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
The only new show worth watching will be cancelled.
Jones's First Law of TV Programming
Sometimes cameras and television are good to people and sometimes they aren’t; I don’t know if it’s the way you say it, or how you look.
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.
(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Men don’t care what’s on TV… they only care what
is on TV.
(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
When they list the great things of the 20th Century, they’ll say, penicillin, Sophia Loren, jet travel and ESPN.
(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.
(1928 – 2009) American television writer, playwright, screenwriter & author
TV: a clever contraction, derived from the words Terrible Vaudeville; we call it a medium, because nothing's well done.
(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Motor racing's less of a sport these days than a commercial break doing 150 mph.
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