Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 2)

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president

Television is for appearing on – not for looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Nobody can ever learn our military's secrets — unless, you know, they happen to have the Discovery Channel… then, it's pretty easy, just tune in for a few minutes.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

I told them sandwiches.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion

If it’s attention you want, don’t get involved with a man during play-off season.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

In honor of the late George Carlin, here are seven more words you can't say on TV: "And the Emmy goes to Bob Saget."

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author

Then we figured out we could just park them in front of the TV; that's how I was raised and I turned out TV.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

(1894 – 1956) radio comedian

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

(1894 – 1956) radio comedian

Television: A watching machine.

I don’t want to say too much about illegal immigration; I’m afraid my views will be reported on the Cinco O’Clock News.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

All television is children's television.

advertising expert & editor

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer

You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your bookcase.

English standup comedian

You're flickin' around, all of a sudden – boom – you're watching a mole for an hour-and-a-half.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor

Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.

(1912 – 1992) American news journalist

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General

Men don’t care what’s on TV… they only care what else is on TV.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor