Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 2)

TV: a clever contraction, derived from the words Terrible Vaudeville; we call it a medium, because nothing's well done.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and then selling your story to TV.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

If it’s attention you want, don’t get involved with a man during play-off season.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

You don't even know what they're selling until the very end: three rabbits are on a log, and one of them goes home and hangs himself – 'Buy a bike!'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

Never buy a man a plasma TV until you’re married; a lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don’t need a girlfriend.

(1963 – ) American comedian & author

Television opened up a whole new field of unemployment for him.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

I don’t like this reality television, I have to be honest… I think real people should not be on television; it’s for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor

Television: A watching machine.

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.

Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.

(1921 – 2000) comedian, television host, musician, actor & writer

Oh, there's so much nudity on TV, I just sit there shaking my fist.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I bought a portable cable TV.

comedian

ESPN is like your family, it’s always there: the networks are like your mother-in-law… they are there on the weekends.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

Why should people go out and pay to see bad movies when they can stay home and see bad television for nothing.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.

Television is for appearing on, not looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

When they list the great things of the 20th Century, they’ll say, penicillin, Sophia Loren, jet travel and ESPN.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

I told them sandwiches.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
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