Subject: Exaggerations


Humorous overstated descriptions of things or conditions taken to ridiculous extremes.

Hagi could open a tin of beans with his left foot.

English football player

She is so fat… she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

His nose is so big… he could smoke a cigar in the shower.

He is so old… his social security number is 6.

She is so fat… when she was a kid she could only play seek.

It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

She is so old… she's in God's year book.

She’s so ugly… when she entered an ugly contest the judges said, "No professionals."

He is so fat… when his beeper goes off, people think he's backing up.

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

She is so old… her dreams are in black and white.

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child; she must be found and stopped.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist

He's so fat… when he goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

She is so fat… when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet.

She is so old… she was the waitress at the last supper.

She is so slow… she has to speed up to stop.

It was so cold… the kids at school were using flannel notebooks.

She is so thin… she doesn’t cast a shadow.

It was so cold… pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets to keep warm.

He is so fat… when he gets his shoes shined he has to take the man's word for it.

The Animal Rescue Site