Subject: Exaggerations

Exaggerations:

Humorous overstated descriptions of things or conditions taken to ridiculous extremes.

She is so stupid… she stared at an orange juice carton for twenty minutes because the label said "concentrate."

He is so fat… when he joined Overeaters Anonymous and they make him a chapter.

He is so stupid… mind readers charge him half price.

He is so poor… he can't even pay attention.

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

She is so fat… the police told her to break it up.

He is so old… I told him to act his own age, and he died.

She’s so ugly she makes onions cry.

It is so hot… I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.

She is so ugly… when she walked in to Taco Bell, everyone ran for the border.

She is so fat… when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.

He is so fat… he's on both sides of the family.

His car is so expensive that instead of a stereo, Pavaratti takes requests from the back seat.

She is so old… her dreams are in black and white.

It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

He is so fat… people jump over him rather than go around.

She is so stupid… when you said it was chilly outside she went and got a bowl.

He is so stupid… it takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

It is so dry… I caught a catfish that had ticks on him.

I saw a mosquito in Alaska so big… I could see his brand.