Subject: Exaggerations


Humorous overstated descriptions of things or conditions taken to ridiculous extremes.

He is so stupid… he thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.

She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.

He is so ugly… he has to sneak up on his mirror.

It was so cold… my shadow froze to the sidewalk.

It is so hot… the cows arre giving evaporated milk.

She is so fat… when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet.

It is so hot… potatoes cook underground.

She’s so ugly… when she entered an ugly contest the judges said, "No professionals."

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child; she must be found and stopped.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist

He is so poor… he can't even pay attention.

It was so cold… we had lunch at the "Greasy Spoon" – just for the heartburn.

He is so dumb, blondes tell jokes about him.

It was so cold… pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets to keep warm.

It is so hot… the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

He is so fat… he has group insurance.

He's so fat… when he goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

He is so fat… in the summer he can sell shade.

He is so fat… people jump over him rather than go around.

She is so short… you can see her feet on her driver's license picture.

He is so stupid… he got fired from an M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.

If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

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