Subject: Exaggerations


Humorous overstated descriptions of things or conditions taken to ridiculous extremes.

If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

It is so hot… I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

She is so slow… she has to speed up to stop.

He is so fat… I had to take a train and two buses just to get on his good side.

He is so fat… when he gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

She is so ugly… when she goes swimming the tide goes out.

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

I saw a mosquito in Alaska so big… I could see his brand.

She is so fat… when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.

She is so ugly… when she walks into a haunted house, she came out with a paycheck.

She is so ugly… when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end.

It was so cold… politicians stopped blowing hot air.

He is so fat… in the summer he can sell shade.

It was so cold… flashers were just describing themselves.

He is so ugly… his doctor is a vet.

She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.

It is so hot… I saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.

She’s so ugly she makes onions cry.

It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

He is so stupid… it takes him an hour to cook Minute Rice.

She is so stupid… she took a blood test and failed.