Subject: Exaggerations (Page 3)

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child; she must be found and stopped.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Children Exaggerations People Women

She is so fat… when she was a kid she could only play seek.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

His nose is so big… he could smoke a cigar in the shower.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

It is so hot… the cows arre giving evaporated milk.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

He is so ugly… he has to sneak up on his mirror.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

She is so ugly… when she gets up, the sun goes down.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

It is so hot… I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

She is so fat… at the zoo, the elephants throw peanuts at her.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

It was so cold… my shadow froze to the sidewalk.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Age Exaggerations Old

His ears are so big… he heard the sun come up.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

She is so old… her dreams are in black and white.

Age Exaggerations Old

His car is so expensive that instead of a stereo, Pavaratti takes requests from the back seat.

Autos Exaggerations Things

He is so fat… when he joined Overeaters Anonymous and they make him a chapter.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

It was so cold… I chipped a tooth on my soup.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

He is so stupid… mind readers charge him half price.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

She is so stupid… she stared at an orange juice carton for twenty minutes because the label said "concentrate."

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

She’s so ugly she makes onions cry.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

She is so old… she was the waitress at the last supper.

Age Exaggerations Old

It was so cold… we had lunch at the "Greasy Spoon" – just for the heartburn.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather