Subject: Family » Children (Page 3)

Giving away baby clothes and nursery furniture is a major cause of pregnancy.

novelist & travel writer
Children Family Situations

After you have children, the economic law reverses to Demand and Supply.

writer
Children Family

How to Traumatize Your Children

Book Titles Children

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.

(384 BC – 322 BC) Greek philosopher
Age Children Family Fathers Mothers

Do not nurse a kid who wears braces.

Children Family Mothers Situations

You know who really gives kids a bad name? … Posh and Becks.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Communication Wordplay

It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
Children Girls People

No child throws up in the bathroom.

Children Health Murphy’s Laws

He’s going around putting little covers over the electrical outlets and all that stuff, and I’m like, ‘How the kids going to learn about electricity, huh?’

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Children Family

There is no reciprocity; men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.

Anna Haycraft (1932 – 2005) English writer & essayist
Children Emotions Love Men Women

Kids… it’s like living with homeless people.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Children Family

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Children Family

I think that I would be a good father… especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Alcohol Children Family Fathers

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family

I Heart My Little A-Holes

Book Titles Children

I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50; so I said, “Give me two boys and a girl.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Children Entertainment Money

I don’t have any children but if I had a baby I would have to name it so I’d buy a “baby naming book” … or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Books Children Family

If it tastes good, you can't have it; if it tastes awful, you'd better clean your plate.

Children Eating Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
Animals Children Insults

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Children Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant – and let the air out of the tires.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Children Family Places