Subject: Family » Children (Page 5)

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Children Malaprops

Wednesday… play with your food!

(1951 – ) American actress & director
Children Family TV/Movie Quotes

Twins: Infant replay.

Children Definitions Family

Have you ever thought about registering as a sex offender just so your friends won’t bring their kids over to your house?

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Children Friends People Travel

If it weren’t for baseball, many kids wouldn’t know what a millionaire looked like.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Baseball Children Money Sports Wealth

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Children Family

Parents – especially step-parents – are sometimes a bit of a disappointment to their children; they don’t fulfill the promise of their early years.

(1905 – 2000) English writer
Children Family Parents

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Animals Children Dogs Learning

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Children Dogs

I have the heart of a child; I keep it in a jar on my shelf.

(1917 – 1994) American writer
Children Science/Weather

Out of the mouths of babes come things parents never should have said.

Children Communication Family Speech

What’s the point of having children if you can’t buy their love?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Children Emotions Family Love TV/Movie Quotes

The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Children Family Money

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer
Children Family

Children should be heard, not obscene.

Children Murphy’s Laws

This is my second marriage, and I have a kid from my first marriage 'cause I like souvenirs.

(1963 – ) American comedian
Children Marriage

Kids say the darndest things.

(1912 – 2010) Canadian-born American radio & television personality & humorist
Children Family Speech

I’ve got two children; to be honest I always wanted three children; now I’ve got two, I only want one.

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor
Children Family

My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Children Family

We have a beautiful little girl who we named after my mom; in fact Passive Aggressive Psycho turns five tomorrow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Family Mothers Old

Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Children Family Fathers