Subject: Food/Drink

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?


I like a lot of partisan cheese on my pizza.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The best number for a dinner party is two – myself and a damn good head waiter.

(1896 – 1972) Turkish-born Armenian business magnate

Men will cook if danger is involved.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Diet: selection of foods for people who are thick and tired of it.

I thought I would have a quiet pint … and about 17 noisy ones.

British rugby player

When I was pregnant, my friends sneered: ‘Eating for two, are we?’… I said, get lost, I’m not cutting down.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won’t cure a cold.

(1932 – 2014) American singer

I had one anchovy, that's why I didn't have two anchovies.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

A sandwich is an attempt to make both ends meat.

Rebecca: You guys, I have my new wedding dress. And now all I need is something old, something borrowed, and something blue.

Carla: How ‘bout Norm’s liver?

(1948 – ) American actress

1. Everything is cold except what should be. 2. Everything, including the corn flakes, is greasy.

Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.

(1973 – ) American comedian

I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

I will not eat oysters; I want my food dead… not sick… not wounded… dead.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

If it tastes good, you can't have it; if it tastes awful, you'd better clean your plate.

I use a smoke alarm as a timer.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

I’m in favor of liberalized immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants; I’d let just about everybody in except the English.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
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