Subject: Food/Drink

If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland; people in Scotland drink while they're drinking.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

We drink to one another’s health, and spoil our own.

(1859 – 1927) English writer

Hey I’m high on life, Coach… of course, beer is my life.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

The quality of a champagne is judged by the amount of noise the cork makes when it is popped.

He goes through groceries like an earth remover.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

I only drink to steady my nerves… sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Oh graytin potatoes

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

It’s so annoying ‘cause it’s such a portable, good snack, but if you’re a girl and you want to eat a banana all of a sudden you’re in the position of like, how to I de-dick this delicious treat…?

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer

Secretary: Someday you'll drown in a vat of whiskey.

Field’s reply as an aside: Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time,” so I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Woody: Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?

Norm: No, I’d like a dead cat in a glass.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?

Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

A luxury meal was prairie sandwiches – two slices of bread with wide-open spaces between them.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

There is no such thing as a ‘little bit of garlic.’

Put it back in the horse!

(1907 – 1976) American journalist & humorist

I drink therefore I am.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Eating without conversation is only stoking.


If a drink was ice cold, it would be impossible to drink. Because it would be solid. “Here’s a drink, Mitch – it’s ice cold.” I guess I could lick it.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

I don't wanna say we eat out a lot, but when I call my kids for dinner they run to the car!

American comedian

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.

The Hunger Site