Subject: Food/Drink

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?


Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Avoid fruit and nuts; you are what you eat.

(1945 –) American cartoonist (Garfield)

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

You're supposed to eat the cows; they're great big lumbering stupid things – they’d be everywhere if we didn’t eat them.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer

Marge, your cooking only has two moves: Shake and Bake.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

I’m a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start to eat.

(1925 – ) American professional football player

Casserole: A method used by ingenious cooks to get rid of leftovers.

As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician

Pour him out of here!

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Do not taste food while you’re cooking… you may lose your nerve to eat it.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex… except for salami and eggs; now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer

Man can not live by bread alone … he must have peanut butter.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian

Call me old-fashioned Cliff, but the only thing I like floating in my beer is my liver.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

(1930 – 2017) American journalist & author

Yeah… I remember my first beer.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

The most dangerous thing about American food?… the portions.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

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