Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol

An alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his own physician.

I drink to make other people interesting.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

A man shouldn’t fool with booze until he’s fifty; then he’s a damn fool if he doesn’t.

(1897-1962) American writer

Angels carry drunkards on their arms.

You mix two jiggers of scotch with one jigger of Metracal [a diet supplement]; so far, I’ve lost five pounds and my driver’s license.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach

Lindsay Lohan: Rehab Was a ‘Sobering Experience’

There is no difference between someone who eats too little and sees Heaven and someone who drinks too much and sees snakes.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic

Never program and drink beer at the same time.

There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded; trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

There’s many a slip twixt the cup and the lip.

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

I have taken more good from alcohol than alcohol has taken from me.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The last time I drank, I drove into a ditch, which doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but I stopped at the ditch, looked left and right, then drove into the ditch.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

I had the right to remain silent, but I had lost the ability to.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian

Fields reloading!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

There wasn't a man alive who could drink me into bed!

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author

Always drink upstream from the herd.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

We are in such a slump that even the ones that aren’t drinkin’ aren’t hittin’.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
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