Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol

My father drank beer in the morning; later in the day he drank anything.

(1921 – 2007) Scottish-born actress

I didn’t think prohibition would last that long.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

A man shouldn’t fool with booze until he’s fifty; then he’s a damn fool if he doesn’t.

(1897-1962) American writer

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

(1930 – ) American journalist & author

Never program and drink beer at the same time.

You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

The French drink to get loosened up for an event, to celebrate and event, and even to recover from an event.

French commission of alcoholism

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

I practice when I’m loaded.

(1925 – 1985) American jazz saxophonist

Almost nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane.

(1890 – 1937) author

My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles… which sounds so much better than “alcoholic.”

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

Golfing excellence goes hand in hand with alcohol, as many an Open and Amateur champion has shown.

British golf writer & commentator

I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills… my doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician

AAA-AA: A club for people who are being driven to drink.

The main difference between playing League and Union is that now I get my hangovers on Monday instead of Sunday.

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Rum: Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Meet me down in the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
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