Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

(1879 – 1964) British politician

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won’t cure a cold.

(1932 – 2014) American singer

The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician

Abstainer: The kind of man you wouldn’t want to drink with even if he did.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor

I had the right to remain silent, but I had lost the ability to.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian

Whiskey: The best thing to take for a headache – the night before.

I had to stop drinking, cause I got tired of waking up in my car driving 90.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor

Fields reloading!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Sleep… the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host

Never buy a drink for the road, because the road is already laid out.

(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness – or so good as drink.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist

You might be a redneck if… you've ever been too drunk to fish.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

He has a profound respect for old age… especially when it’s bottled.

(1890 – 1960) journalist, author & dramatist

Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.

I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hijack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout.

Drunkenness does not create vice; it merely brings it into view.

(54 BC – 39 AD) Roman orator

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor
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