Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol

Abstainer: The kind of man you wouldn’t want to drink with even if he did.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

You can't drown yourself in drink… I've tried, you float.

(1882 – 1942) American actor

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness – or so good as drink.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

Alcohol is ok in modification.

'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

I had the right to remain silent, but I had lost the ability to.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian

Ed, I see you're out drinking again. What's the occasion?
Byrne: I was sober.

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with it's just compounding the felony.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

I don’t drink, I’m a totalitarian.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian

Thou shalt not covet they neighbors’s house… unless they have a well-stocked bar.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink.

(1869 – 1946) American novelist & dramatist

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

(1899 – 1957) film actor

Teetotaler: One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist