Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol

I drink to make other people seem more interesting.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil's Brew; I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon… and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Love makes the world go ‘round? Not at all; whiskey makes it go ‘round twice as fast.

(1883–1972) British writer, cultural commentator & Scottish nationalist

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.

(1937 – 2005) journalist & author

Angels carry drunkards on their arms.

Drunkenness does not create vice; it merely brings it into view.

(54 BC – 39 AD) Roman orator

There are two reasons for drinking: one is when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.

(1785 – 1866) English novelist & poet

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

(1899 – 1957) film actor

There wasn't a man alive who could drink me into bed!

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author

You can't fall off the floor.

Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

I used to be a bartender at the Betty Ford Clinic.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the Hoover to detox.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Woody: What’s up?

Norm: The warranty on my liver.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Secretary: Someday you’ll drown in a vat of whiskey.

Field’s reply as an aside: Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers; what I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness – or so good as drink.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist

Yeah… I remember my first beer.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

You might be a redneck if… you've ever been too drunk to fish.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
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