Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol

'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The best research [for playing a drunk] is being a British actor for 20 years.

(1933 – ) English actor

I practice when I’m loaded.

(1925 – 1985) American jazz saxophonist

I thought AAA was an organization for people who are really bad alcoholics.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer

There's no such thing as a large whiskey.

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around, and I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

I used to be a bartender at the Betty Ford Clinic.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason… now I have a reason.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian

You mix two jiggers of scotch with one jigger of Metracal [a diet supplement]; so far, I’ve lost five pounds and my driver’s license.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness – or so good as drink.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist

Wine we need for health, and the health we need to drink vodka.

(1938 – 2010) Russian politician

Lindsay Lohan: Rehab Was a ‘Sobering Experience’

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking… it's easy; I've done it a thousand times.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

The last time I drank, I drove into a ditch, which doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but I stopped at the ditch, looked left and right, then drove into the ditch.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink.

(1869 – 1946) American novelist & dramatist
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