Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol

I didn’t think prohibition would last that long.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Angels carry drunkards on their arms.

One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness – or so good as drink.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist

You can't drown yourself in drink… I've tried, you float.

(1882 – 1942) American actor

Whiskey: The best thing to take for a headache – the night before.

Sleep… the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Drink ‘til she’s cute, but stop before the wedding.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I practice when I’m loaded.

(1925 – 1985) American jazz saxophonist

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded; trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Yeah… I remember my first beer.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

I feel like a drunken man who doesn’t have a drink.

English football player, manager & sports commentator

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

I Wish Daddy Didn’t Drink So Much

I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling… the rest I spend foolishly.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

If you drop a full can of beer, and remember to rap the top sharply with your knuckle prior to opening, the ensuing gush of foam will be between 89 and 94 percent of the volume that would splatter you if you didn't do a damned thing and went ahead and pulled the top immediately.

They were persecuted at the turn of the century by the U.S. government – that's right: Prohibition.

comedian, television writer

There's no such thing as a large whiskey.

Several members of our youth department are collecting donations for Operation Graduation. Funds will be used for a drug and alcohol party following graduation on May 29th.













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