Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 13)

I’m going to take the high road, and just because I’m high.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

An Irishman is not drunk as long as he still has a blade of grass to hang onto.

I never drink water; I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Beer with no alcohol — what a waste; that is like a nun with a D-cup.

(1958 – ) American actress & stand-up comedian

There's no such thing as a large whiskey.

Love makes the world go ‘round? Not at all; whiskey makes it go ‘round twice as fast.

(1883–1972) British writer, cultural commentator & Scottish nationalist

I had to stop drinking, cause I got tired of waking up in my car driving 90.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor

Now, I’m what you’d call a ‘social drinker,' which means if someone says they’ll have a drink, I say, ‘So shall I.'

American stand-up comedian

Rebecca: You guys, I have my new wedding dress. And now all I need is something old, something borrowed, and something blue.

Carla: How ‘bout Norm’s liver?

(1948 – ) American actress

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

You can't fall off the floor.

You can't drown yourself in drink… I've tried, you float.

(1882 – 1942) American actor

It looks different when you're sober; I thought I had twice as much furniture.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking… it's easy; I've done it a thousand times.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.

You might be a redneck if… you've ever been too drunk to fish.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

One more drink and I'd be under the host.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet