Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 4)

If you drink O’Douls, you don’t drink; but if you drink 20 O’Douls in a half hour, then you’re a non-alcoholic.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist

Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.


All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

The quality of a champagne is judged by the amount of noise the cork makes when it is popped.

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

One drink is just right; two is too many; three are too few.

My father drank beer in the morning; later in the day he drank anything.

(1921 – 2007) Scottish-born actress

Fields reloading!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

(54 BC – 39 AD) Roman orator

There are two reasons for drinking: one is when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.

(1785 – 1866) English novelist & poet

Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month… the other 49 percent didn’t answer the phone.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host

Alcohol is ok in modification.

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

(1879 – 1964) British politician

There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.

(1916 – 1986) American poet, translator & etymologist

I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.

(1547 – 1616) Spanish novelist, poet & playwright

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer