Subject: Food/Drink » Cooking

We could not have had a better dinner had there been a Synod of Cooks.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

You are always complimented on the item that took the least effort to prepare. Example: If you make roast turkey, you will be complimented on the baked potato.

The difference between a chef and a cook is the difference between a wife and a prostitute; cooks do meals for people they know and love, chefs do it anonymously for anyone who’s got the price.

(1954 – ) British writer & critic

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

(1932 – ) British novelist & journalist

Men will cook if danger is involved.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

What the F*@# Should I Make for Dinner?

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor

Cookin’ With Coolio

I use a smoke alarm as a timer.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Once a dish is fouled up, anything added to save it only makes it worse.

I’m not very domestic… for years my children though mold was a frosting.

American author, speaker & comedy writer

This recipe is certainly silly; it says to separate two eggs, but it doesn’t say how far to separate them.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)

Square meals often make round people.

American entrepreneur & author

I’m not going to say my wife can’t cook, but should toast have bones?

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

The one ingredient you made a special trip to the store to get will be the one thing your guest is allergic to.

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, in addition to when it is removed.

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