Subject: Food/Drink » Cooking

Do not taste food while you’re cooking… you may lose your nerve to eat it.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Men will cook if danger is involved.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Cooking With Pooh

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.

(1903 – 1985) American chef & food writer

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.

My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

The English contribution to world cuisine – the chip.

(1939 – ) English actor, comedian, writer & producer

In a family recipe that you discovered in an old book, the most vital measurement will be illegible.

What the F*@# Should I Make for Dinner?

Her cooking is the missionary position of cooking… that is how everybody starts.

(1915 – 2010) Hungarian-born food critic

When my mother had to get dinner for eight she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)

I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook… after dinner, I don't brush my teeth, I count them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Marriage: A deal in which a man gives away half his groceries in order to get the other half cooked.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse; an antler got stuck in my throat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

I’m not very domestic… for years my children though mold was a frosting.

American author, speaker & comedy writer

In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

(1934 – 1996) American astronomer, astrophysicist & author

The one ingredient you made a special trip to the store to get will be the one thing your guest is allergic to.

Fettuccine Alfredo: Macaroni and cheese for adults.